Losing is Winning

Chapter 17

"I'm not distracting you, I'm doing the exact same as always!"

"Yes, and that's distracting me!"

"Why would it?"

"Because things changed!"

"What things? Nothing changed!"

"Argh! I don't want to spell it out for you!" Hinata glared at him, as if it was Tobio's fault for not getting him. He stared back. If Hinata had to talk nonsense, it was his own responsibility to make the nonsense comprehensible. The air around them felt heavy, thick to the point where moving or even just averting one's eyes seemed impossible.

But then, something in Hinata's eyes snapped. The glimmer of desperation in them turned into a blazing flame of determination fueled by irritation. Taking a step forward, he took Tobio by surprise. His jaw slackened, lips parting as a hoarse noise made its way up his throat. It was silenced when Hinata's lips crashed against his own, a sharp pain shooting through his jaw at the collision.

His entire body froze up. The sensation of Hinata's fingers digging into the collar of his jacket, pulling him down into him, trickled through his entire body.

His lips were warm, a stark contrast against the cold air surrounding them. Warm enough for Tobio to melt into them, all thoughts leaving his mind as a foreign kind of serenity replaced the tension in his body.

When Hinata lowered himself back on his heels, Tobio's mind stayed in its paralyzed state. He couldn't comprehend what was happening. "I like you," Hinata whispered. His teeth dug into his lower lip as a rosy color spread over the bridge of his nose.

Tobio's mind was still trying to catch up with what was happening. For a moment, he was sure time must have stopped. Nothing moved, not Hinata, not the trees along the street—with them both holding their breaths, not even those soft white clouds billowed in the air.

Then, Hinata pulled away in a quick motion, within a split second getting a few feet of distance between them. The cold December air immediately sunk its claws back into Tobio. If it hadn't been for his heart beating in his chest strong enough to make it feel like his entire torso was throbbing, Tobio probably would have thought he had frozen up. His brain, however, felt anything but frozen, the same three words racing through it over and over. I like you. I like you. He likes me. Tobio could still feel the ghost of Hinata's lips on his, making it near impossible to focus on his thoughts.

He needed to say something. Soon. Now. The silence stretched, Hinata's eyes were slowly burning holes into Tobio's face, and he knew that he was waiting for some kind of reaction. But his thoughts were blank, his tongue tied to the roof of his mouth.

Tobio waited—hoped for his body to take some kind of action, to show him what the appropriate response was, but there was nothing. There was nothing, and then, there was fear. Fear of so many things, Tobio took a staggering step backwards. "I can't," he choked out before the silence could stretch for any longer. "I don't- We can't." He licked over his lower lip, the faint taste of Hinata still on them.

Hinata's eyes widened slightly—only the twitching of a single muscle—but it was enough for Tobio to see the split second of pain in them. His stomach cramped up even more.

Hinata swallowed. "Well, there you have it, at least. The reason I wasn't as focused." He turned away. "Can we move on now?" He hesitated for a moment, one foot slightly above the ground already, before he started walking again. Tobio needed a few seconds to process that they were continuing their way home. Once he did, he slowly caught up with Hinata.

The silence that hung between them in the cold night air was suffocating, but neither of them dared to break it.

Did Hinata actually like him? It was one of the main things Tobio was wondering. But why would Hinata lie about something like that? No, the look in his eyes had been honest. Tobio glanced over at him. The straight and rigid posture he was walking with told the same story.