Wallflower (Completed)

two decades old

I am two decades old
have I gone so far or have I only started life?
I am getting bold
yet thinking of future gets me terrified;
will I ever escape this town
or still be encaged?
and my friends are good players now
yet I do not want to play this game.

now time flies faster
so much that I cannot do whatever I want
and I'm not getting wiser
from things I tried to learn for years and months;
here I fear of losing the flame
I ignited from my own stones—
what if they ruined my way?
how could I ever start on my own?

I do not want to be wiser
if it means to suffer
from the worst truths in life
I surely cannot strive;
the world does not even have an answer
to all the questions that kept me up through nights
until I become the sole player—
the only one left behind.

I am two decades old,
but am I getting older?