Fame | A Tomdaya Romance

Chapter 26

Then

I did a particularly shit job at not thinking about her for the last few months. I mean, I'd question whether anyone could not think about it when they'd experienced the kiss that I did. The kiss that I still think about every night when I go to sleep.

I seriously need to get a life.

And yet she is about to be in it again.

We've texted almost like we used to whilst we've been apart, a few facetimes fit in between our filming schedules. But nothing like before - not yet anyway. So I've been on my best behaviour, following my scary marvel workout plan to the t, staying away from parties, seeing my friends in private bars or inside houses. Anything to stay off the radar.

Part of me is anxious about going back to it, now without Rosie - just the three of us, how many of our old routines will we slip back into? How much of our old friendship will remain?

I finally have my answer now, we've been back on set for a few days. I'm back in the room that feels like it belongs to me now. There's a knock at my door. And moments later she is walking back in, donning my favourite combo of hers - the cami and shorts that highlight her endless legs.

"Hi" I say from my spot writing in my diary in the corner, I'm doing it seriously again, "welcome back" I joke. She laughs, "I thought a visit was overdue" she speaks, moving straight to 'her' spot on the bed, "it's weird being back into this routine again isn't it?"

I nod, the only thing I have to compare is being at school. This familiar feeling of filming a new movie when it feels like we've already done it before. "It is strange" I respond, heading over to my spot, "I mean the three of us have two more of these to go. And yet when it's just like it was this evening, sitting in the garden eating and playing games - it makes it manageable".

"If it weren't for you two it would be infinitely harder" she admits, "how are your family adjusting?"

It's sweet she asked, I remember before the last film came out it was a topic of conversation that we spent a lot of time talking about. The fears I had for the impact that it would have on my brothers, for my mum, for the privacy they had in their little world.

"It's been pretty much as I expected" I start, "you know, initially very intense for them - privacy issues - and then we hired that security firm and things started to get a bit easier". When I'm not here I now have a bodyguard, and my brothers and parents all had state of the art cyber security professionals support them in ensuring that they couldn't get hacked.

"Paddy struggled the most with it, because of his age - I think he hadn't really expected people to act differently to them just because of me - but all of them have had to consider who they become friends with as a result of it" I add, "how's your mum?"

It's so easy to forget that Paris happened when we're just sitting here talking like we used to. Properly talking about the things that we used to. For the first time since I got back to Atlanta, I feel like it could be like it used to.

If I just turn off the part of my heart that she lit up that night, I can have what we had before.

I'll take it.

For now.

Now

There's so much that you discover about yourself when you're thrust into the spotlight. So many things that I never thought about before that Fame takes away.

Like a switch flips and suddenly your whole world gets locked down. The people you knew are now all you have left - your family and friends a pack around you. I used to think it would provide me with the freedom to live the life I always dreamed of - but so far, I feel all I have seen from it is the tough side.