(C/F) Cookie wasn't sure they slept that night. They just knew they opened their eyes, exhausted, to what they knew was going to be a terrible day. A day so terrible they'd regret even getting out of bed.
They had been stuck lying awake that night, thinking about the letters under their pillow, for what felt like forever. Now they had a pounding headache telling them just how tired they were to go along with the sagging weight in their chest. Every part of them wanted to cry, but they were too numb to do so.
"(C/F) Cookie?" Strawberry Crepe Cookie finally pulls them out of bed with their crepe arm. "What are you doing?"
They sigh. Can't a Cookie wallow in self pity in peace? "Morning."
"It's afternoon now." Strawberry Crepe Cookie corrects them.
"It is?"
"Yeah, this is the latest you've slept in." The kid frowns, their gaze having no more respect than a disappointed parent.
Well, they hadn't been asleep. They probably would have screamed if they were. They had just been admiring the ceiling for a few... hours now. (C/F) Cookie turns their gaze to the suddenly very interesting wall, "Oh..."
"If we're going to keep working on that project then you need to get that spell from Pure Vanilla Cookie." Strawberry Crepe Cookie huffs. They set (C/F) Cookie back down on their bed.
"Ok." They shrug.
"Do NOT go back to sleep!" The kid says angrily.
"Wasn't planning on it." They sigh and shake their head.
"Good."
"Hello (C/F) Cookie." Pure Vanilla Cookie greets them from the doorway of the spare room.
"Hey." They reply, but their voice sounds hollow. He had seen them having days like this before, but this one was particularly bad.
"What are you reading?" He sits down beside them to look at the book over their shoulder.
They must be exhausted to have grabbed this book. They've read it before, and normally they always grab a new one to read. He pulls it from their hands, which offer no resistance. They just watch him blankly as he closes the book they clearly weren't reading.
"Do you want to practice today?"
"...Yeah." They nod after a moment of thought. They slowly get to their feet and he does the same.
"Perhaps we could continue with restoration magic." He smiles, "You have already mastered the basics of it, so if you would like to move on..."
"Sure."
He frowns. This was painful to watch, but he didn't want to ask. "Alright... this particular spell is an advanced technique and much more complicated than a basic spell, so please do not be discouraged if you do not get it on your first try." He takes the chalk and draws the several overlapping circles that make up the spell. "As we've gone over before, the most important thing to concentrate on is the care you have for the object."
(C/F) Cookie examines the spell carefully with an unreadable expression. In a slow, thoughtful motion they clasped their hands together and shut their eyes as they attempted to will the spell to work.
Pure Vanilla Cookie felt the magic around them shift, but nothing visibly happened. It was honestly impressive they managed that much on their first attempt. Before he could even open his mouth to tell them this though...
"I'm sorry...!" They ran out of the room.
"(C/F) Cookie!" He calls after them, but he already can't hear them anymore. Frowning, he steps out into the hallway. He didn't hear a door, so they must still be in the Academy. Peering into empty classroom after empty classroom, he worriedly sighs as he continuously can't find them and continues searching the rooms down the hall.
Whatever it is that's bothering them must hurt them quite a lot for them to disappear so fast. He can guess it's probably something to do with magic, so it has likely hurt them for a lot longer than anyone else knows. Had he just not paid enough attention to that?
He finally finds them in another unused classroom, curled up in the back with their face in their knees. He didn't know someone could cry so quietly.
"(C/F) Cookie..." He frowns, slowly walking over to them.
"I'm sorry..." Their voice is hushed, like a whisper they don't want to hear.
"You didn't do anything wrong." He sinks down to kneel beside them, setting his staff aside.
They continue to mumble apologies under their breath. Their sobs grow louder as tears begin to choke their voice.
"There is nothing to be sorry for." He frowns, resting his hand on their knee.
They lift their head to look him in the eye, "I can do better! I promise! Just...!" Then they bury their face in their hands, crying even harder.
He stares at their shaking form before scooting closer and slowly pulling them in a hug. He doesn't say anything, he just holds them gently against his chest.
Several minutes passed before (C/F) Cookie collected themself enough to nudge out of his arms. "Sorry..."
"You really have nothing to apologize for." He smiles warmly. "There's nothing wrong with being upset."
They fail to control their crying, uselessly drying their eyes as more silent tears slide down their face.
"It's ok to cry." He assures them, resting his hand on their shoulder, "No one is happy all the time."
(C/F) Cookie tightly grips their knees, clenching their jaw as they attempt to stop the flow of their tears.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks them quietly.
They shake their head no, not wanting to cry more.
"Alright. If you say so. Do tell me if you change your mind." He falls silent again.
The two of them sit in silence, both staring at the floor and left in their own thoughts.
Finally Pure Vanilla Cookie breaks the silence again. "Would you like to go back to the Hangar now and try again tomorrow?"
(C/F) Cookie shakes their head no. They don't think they can handle Strawberry Crepe Cookie yelling at them right now.
After another moment of thought he suddenly slides his hand to rest on their back. "(C/F) Cookie," he starts, "you're doing a wonderful job."
Tears burn in their eyes again. Their own sheer will not to is the only reason they don't burst into tears again.
"You don't have to be good at everything." They can see his kind smile in the corner of their eye, "But that doesn't mean you're worse than someone else. No one is going to fault you for having shortcomings."
They turn their face from him, desperately trying not to cry again.
"I can tell you have more bad days than good ones." His tone shifts sympathetically, "You do not have to pretend that you don't have feelings."
(C/F) Cookie's eyes burn with tears. They take a deep shaky breath as they continue their battle not to cry again—which they are currently losing. Their throat feels half choked in their effort not to.
Pure Vanilla Cookie pulls them back into his tender embrace. "I want to help you, but I can't if you don't let me."
That finally made them break down in tears again. They shuffled around to return the hug, clinging to the back of his robes as they attempted to quiet their tears.
He holds them tighter, leaving his hands resting comfortably on their back, "Let me help you. Please."
They choke out a sob as they cling to him.
"You will get better, I know you will. You don't have to do it alone." He continues, "So please don't try to do everything alone."
YOU ARE READING
Better (Pure Vanilla Cookie x Reader)
Fanfiction(C/F) is Cookie Flavor After being continually rejected from magic school, the brilliant engineer (C/F) Cookie moves to the Vanilla Kingdom for a fresh start.
