Bedroom Negotiations - Gold (Self-published)

15

Declarations just like the one Dustin had just issued scare me. Because I knew that such pronouncements would make me hope; and hoping hurts more than being rejected.

Rejections deal a one-time blow and you'd eventually get over it. Hoping, on the other hand, would kill you slowly because there would always be that what if.

I stepped away from his embrace suddenly realizing just how lethal Dustin truly was. He's the complete package – fucking good-looking, fucking good with words, and fucking great in fucking.

Shit na 'yan, wawasakin ako ng taong ito...

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Mali ito..."

"Dahil...?"

"Basta mali..."

"Anong mali rito?"

Mali because I can truly fall for you and I don't want the kind of pain that comes with falling for someone.

"Mali kasi ayaw ako ng Mommy mo..." I alibied.

How I wished that I could be truthful. How I wished that I wasn't so fucked up that I would rather start an argument than tell a guy about my fears.

"As I have told you, ako na ang bahala kay Mommy—"

"Ayoko rin s'ya," I blurted out. "At sa totoo lang ay ayokong mag-adjust para sa kanya. Why would I choose a man whose mother explicitly told me that she doesn't want me for her son? Ayoko ng gan'ung stress. I would rather be with a guy whose family approves of me from the very beginning."

The look on Dustin's face was unreadable. But, I had to give it to Montemayor, he must be the patron saint of patience.

"You don't have to bend over backwards for my mom. Hindi nga kayo kailangang magkita, eh. I'll iron things out between you two—"

I shook my head at him. "Ayoko."

He let out long sigh. "Tell me what I should do. Sabihin mo kung anong kailangan kong gawin at gagawin ko."

"Kaya mo bang iwan ang Mommy mo para sa akin?"

He stared at me.

"See? 'Di ba, hindi?"

"Alam mo gumagawa ka na lang ng rason," he stated bluntly. "Sa tingin ko ay ginagamit mo 'yung nanay ko kasi ayaw mong mag-commit—"

"Ako? Ako ang gumagawa ng rason? Bakit, wala ka ba kanina? Hindi mo ba narinig at nakita kung paano akong inalipusta ng Mommy mo at ng mga alipores n'ya?"

"I was there, yes, and I saw how you got back at them. Why are you acting as if hindi ka nakaganti? Mahigit sa ganti pa nga 'yung ginawa at sinabi mo kanina, eh—"

"Ah, so kasalanan ko pa pala? Kasalanan ko na binastos ako ng demonyo mong nanay. Kasalanan ko na pinagmukha n'ya akong basahan sa pamamahay n'yo? Kasalanan ko na tinambangan ako ng mga putang-inang 'yun—"

"You're talking about my mother, Lia," he sternly issued. "Sana dahan-dahan lang din sa mga binibitiwan mong salita—"

"Eh, putang-ina, bakit hindi ka na lang kasi umuwi sa putang-inang nanay mo?!"

I saw him clench his jaw before he closed his eyes as if he was grappling for patience. He let out a deep breath before he looked at me again. "Okay ganito, I will leave dahil halatang mainit pa ang ulo mo."

"Hindi. H'wag kang umalis. Tapusin na natin 'to ngayon!"

"Babe, I'm really so tired—"

"Ah, okay, so pagod ka na? Agad-agad tired ka na? Partida hindi pa kasama ang nanay mo rito sa diskusyon natin, ha. Paano kung nandito 'yung Anitang 'yun, eh, 'di, basta ka na lang aalis at iiwanan mo na lang akong makipagbalitaktakan sa kanya, gan'un?"