Poisoned

Apologies

My mum eventually picked me up, they basically forced her to come pick me up.

The most of the drive was quite, the tears couldn't stop falling down and it didn't seemed to bother my mom, she's always been like this with me, cold.

"Why didn't you called me back? I thought you were dead Olivia" my mom spoke after a few minutes of quiet

"Like you would be bothered" I said and she just rolled her eyes, her coldness can kill me sometimes.

When I came back I saw Frank passing out on the coach, I quickly and quietly walked to my room and opened my drawer, pulling a scissor

I thought about doing it before but I didn't because of the promise, an empty promise.

I feel like I've just lost too much, Peterkin was like a mother to me and John b was like a brother, I didn't knew Sarah that well but it was just too much.

The pain is too much. I want to feel something different then the mental pain, something that would keep my mind on something else

I need this.

I mean why even bother? I would end up in the same spot anyways. "I am so sorry Jay" I said with tears while I was doing it.

I broke the promise.

I just felt and endless emptiness.

-

The rest of the few days was pretty depressed, I didn't came out of my room, Frank or my mom never came in, I only ate when I heard my mum and Frank wasn't home, eating become hard.

I saw bunch of textes from Jay I never had the energy to answer, the only energy I had is to sleep and cut myself, even eating became a problem, food just didn't felt right

After a few days Jay showed up, I was probably asleep when he came in because I woke up to him shaking me and telling me to wake up

"What the fuck?" I said while I was waking up

"Sorry I uh... I just haven't heard from you and you're not answering texts so I've been kind worried"

"Oh yeah sorry about that I just needed some time to myself" I said

"Yeah I get that, do have plans for today?" He asked

"To be honest Jay I just want to sleep"

"Look, Liv I am worried about you and I miss you, we haven't heard from you since the night your mum picked you up and I am worried sick"

"Okay... what have y'all planned?"

"We are going to memorial John b and Sarah at the chateau today, you can bring something of John b with you but please come, we need each others" he said

I haven't been at the chateau since John b and Sarah died, but it was to respect them and Jay needed me

"Yeah, I'll come" I assure him

"Good, good. We'll start at 4PM I gotta go to work but I am glad you'll come" he said and I offered him a sad smile before he kissed my cheek and snicked out