Playing Cupid (YL Series #1)

Chapter 6

It was 10:30 pm and I was still awake, using my phone while lying down on my bed habang sila mama, natutulog na sa kwarto nila.

While scrolling, someone suddenly chatted me. It was Matteo

Matteo Navarro:
'Hey maaga ka bang umuwi? You were no where to be found after the ceremony. Congrats btw!'

Esmeray Cortez:
'Ah yea, we had a small celebration at home. But what's up? Why'd you chat?'

Matteo Navarro:
'I have something to say, if you're free tomorrow can you meet me at the cafe in front of the school at 3:30?'

What the heck does he want?

Esmeray Cortez:
'Okay, sure'

------
THE NEXT DAY

It was already past 3:30 at pumasok na ako sa cafe. I saw Matteo sitting on the table near the window. "Hey, kanina ka pa ba naghihintay?" I asked as I sat on the seat across him.

"Nah, kararating ko lang actually. I already ordered you a drink" he said, pointing at the cup in front of me.

"Thanks" I replied and took a sip of my chocolate shake. "So, what do you want to say?"

He looked at his coffee and hestitated. "Well... how do I say this? Uhm... first of all, thank you for helping me get close to Weslie, I couldn't have done it without you. And, thanks to that, I experienced what it felt to genuinely love someone and to have that love reciprocated."

Napakunot ang noo ko. "Wait, what do you mean? How about your ex----"

"----I didn't date her out of love." pagputol niya sa sinabi ko. He had this guilty look on his face.

"What? So why did you date her? To play with her? Because of a bet? Gosh, Matteo, don't tell me that was the reason? You're my friend but its unacceptable if you played with someone's feelings."

"What? No! I know I'm a jerk but I would never do that!" he defended.

"So then why did you date her if you didn't love her?" I asked, confused.

"To make the one I liked jealous. At that time, I liked you but you were my best friend so I never told you. I was too afraid to lose you. I was a coward. I feared that you didn't share the same feeling. And she knew that I liked you so she volunteered to help me make you jealous, we dated and promised not to fall for each other. But as weeks passed, we slowly fell for each other but I didn't realize it until I lost her. She broke up with me because she thought I still had feelings for you, but I was a fool to not realize that I fell for her too and ended up letting her go. I tried asking her to come back, but I couldn't contact her anymore. I was heart broken but slowly moved on... then I met Weslie and it was like magic. It may be cringey but, it was as if my world was black and white before I met her and it became colorful the moment I saw her. Strangely, I immediately knew it was her. She was the one. And I'm really thankful that you helped me get close to her. Thank you for everything"

I paused and held tears. After a moment of silence, I opened my mouth and spoke. "....does Weslie know?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I told her months ago"

"H-how did she react?"

"She cried and told me to tell you but at that time, I was afraid you would both avoid me."

"I-i see... Uhm, Mat, I think I need to leave now. I hope you understand, I just need to proccess everything you just told me." I said and hurridly prepared to leave before my tears fell down.

"Yea, sure. I know it must be shocking for you, but please don't avoid me, you're a really good friend of mine."

I just smiled and walked out of the cafe. Naglakad ako pauwi at nadaanan ko ang park. I decided to walk around the park and organize my thoughts.

So... he liked me? And I liked him too. But we were both afraid to tell each other? What bullsh*t is this? What the hell is wrong with cupid? Oh wait, why am I blaming cupid? Parehas niya naman kaming pinana, we were just cowards. It was our fault. We didn't have the courage to tell each other how we felt.

Tears started streaming down my cheeks but I didn't bother to wipe them. Yumuko ako. Ang bigat ng nararamdaman ko. Halo halong emotion and naramdaman ko. I was filled with sadness, frustration, and... regret.

What if I told him how I felt long before everything became complicated? Back when we both had feelings for each other. Would we be happy? Maybe I wouldn't be crying stupidly like this. Maybe I wouldn't be in so much pain. If only I took the risk... maybe things could have turned out differently.

"Hey, I thought yesterday was the last time you would cry? Why are you crying again, you crybaby?"

Inangat ko ang ulo ko at nakita ko si Arczen na nakatayo sa harap ko. Ah, it probably past 4 now, he usually goes jogging at this time. "....Zen..." I called him.

"What? Jeez di pa naman ako nagdala ng panyo kasi akala ko di ka na iiyak dito" he said, wiping my tears with his hands.

Niyakap ko siya at umiyak. "Z-zen, he said he liked me before he dated his ex and Weslie. Gusto niya rin ako dati... but I was a coward. We were cowards."

"W-what? Ano bang nangyari?" he asked.

Umupo kami sa isang bench at kinwento ko sa kaniya ang nangyari. He just silently listened while wiping my tears.

"Zen, I'm so sick and tired of love. Ang sakit." I said while leaning on his shoulder.

"You know, others say that if it hurts then it isn't love. But, I think otherwise. Pain is part of love. The reason why you're getting hurt is because you love the person. And if you don't get hurt, then it isn't love. So its normal to get hurt. Its normal to cry. But you just have to stand up and be stronger after."

"Woah, thanks sa advice ah. I'm really so lucky to have you as a friend, Zen. Salamat sa lahat"

"....friend, huh? You're welcome, Esme."

For some odd reason, I feel like there was sadness laced on what he just said.

And that, is how my first love ended.