Bitter (wlw) (txs)

forty-two

"If it'll make you feel safer" she shrugged. "I'll wait a minute"

"Okay, see you in the parking lot" I said as I walked to her to kiss her one last time. It really felt good to do that.

On the way home Sam told me more about how she'd spent the last couple of days, and I just let her talk without interrupting, because her voice was easily one of my favorite sounds and listening to her after so many days also felt really good.

I hesitated on what to do once we arrived in front of her apartment. As much as it seemed like the tension between us was completely over, I couldn't really grasp how she was feeling.

"What, you don't wanna come in?" Sam asked as I let her walk in first and searched for her approval.

"Oh. Yeah, of course I do. I just wasn't sure if you wanted me to" I headed inside.

"I've been telling you how much I missed you for days and you think I wouldn't want to spend the evening with you?" she chuckled, confused.

I knew that she was joking when she asked me earlier, but it somewhat felt like we did go back to a previous stage of our relationship that evening. Maybe not the very beginning, but before Valentine's day at least.

We were back to being affectionate as always with each other, but something still felt off. I was even skeptical about staying at hers for the night because I was scared she was feeling obliged to ask or something, but knowing her she wouldn't have said anything if she didn't want me to stay.

"Sam?" I looked up as my head was resting on her chest. Being in her bed with her after so long made me want to never move from that position again.

"Mhm?" she said, her hand running through my hair.

"Is everything good between us now?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Like, you're not mad at me anymore or anything?"

"I'm not baby. Did I give you that impression?"

"No, uhm, I just wanted to make sure. I felt like there might still be something off"

"I assure you I'm not mad" she cupped my cheek. "If I seem detached it's just 'cause I'm tired, love. And it'll honestly take a bit of time to go back to how things were before I left, since we didn't leave on the best terms. We can't ignore what happened. But we'll get there, eventually"

"Okay" I said, partly relieved. "I'm still sorry about-"

"We don't have to talk about it anymore" she said before I could end what I was about to say.

"Alright" I sighed, trying not to show that I'd suddenly started to feel anxious.

"We're gonna be okay" she whispered, resting her head on mine.

"I'm just a bit scared of losing you" I blurted out before I could filter my own thoughts.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, yeah?" she softly kissed my forehead. "I promise"

"Okay" was the only thing I was able to say.

"Goodnight, love" she added, squeezing my waist a bit tighter than she was already.

I wanted to tell her how much I loved her but I was scared to, none of us having said those words since before our fight, so I just settled with a "Goodnight".

During the next days everything felt like it was slowly going back to normal. Our relationship was still more like its beginnings than immediately before the fight, but I was okay with that. It was good to take things slowly, and I knew we could eventually reach that state again, with some time.

I'd been staying at Sam's place more, and she'd drive me to college most of the time. For the first time in weeks, I felt at peace with our situation and my life in general.

The next week would be spring break, which was really exciting especially because Vic would be visiting for five whole days. I also had three days off from work.

I couldn't wait to finally see her in person, and I was glad things were better between me and Sam so the two could meet without it being awkward. I wished we could organize something with Mei too, but she seemingly had better stuff to do.

Her and Sarah were going on a short getaway somewhere, apparently. I wasn't sure if they'd made things official, but I guessed they were close to doing so if they hadn't. I was really happy for her, she deserved to be with someone who made her so happy.

"Are you and Mei like, a thing now?" I asked Sarah during a particularly boring work shift.

"Uhm, I guess so. We haven't completely made it official but I bet we will next week when we're away. Did she tell you we're planning a trip somewhere?"

"Yeah. I'm really happy for the both of you" I playfully patted her shoulder.

"Thanks girl" she giggled. "Also, I saw your girlfriend earlier"

"What?" I blurted out, the smile on my face disappearing as I temporarily forgot that Sarah had actually talked with Sam multiple times in the past.

"Yeah, I had to go to the English department because some professor's office I need for my thesis is there, and I saw her come out of the building"

"Oh" I just said, slightly weirded out.

"I hadn't seen her since last summer but I guess she thinks I had something to do with whatever mess Maya got you into. I just smiled at her because I knew she'd recognize me and I swear that if looks could kill, I wouldn't be here right now" she chuckled.

"Oh my god" I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, I didn't find it funny in the moment. We've talked enough in the past for her to at least smile back, but she has a different opinion, probably"

"You know, she probably just associates you with Maya and a not really nice moment of her life" I suggested.

"Yeah, fair enough. You remember when you first came here, after your job interview, and you ordered coffee for her?"

"Uh, I guess so" I said, confused.

"I asked you if she was as bitter as her coffee order, and you said she wasn't. Maybe you were wrong"

"I don't think I was" I chuckled, glad that a customer had just walked in so the conversation would end there.

Sam wasn't a bitter person, she just tended to close herself around most people and had a strong need to protect her own personal space, which would often lead to thinking she was cold and detached.

But once you got to actually know her, it was practically immediate to realize she wasn't bitter at all. Her being so caring and always ready to help made her anything but a bitter person. She was just selective with the people to show that side of her to. And I'd got lucky enough to be one of the people who got to see it.

a/n : just wanted to thank you all for the support on this book, i never would have imagined to have so many people invested in my story :') hope you're all having a good day and thank you for reading as always!