hoax | kaz brekker

eighteen. give me a reason

Kaz stayed deathly silent as he thought about what she was saying. He didn't know how to respond to her, because, as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't know what was going to happen next. It felt extremely alien to the Bastard of the Barrel. And it fucking terrified him.

"I don't want to die, Kaz. I'm so scared... I'm scared that it won't be like people say it is. What if it isn't calm? What if I'm all alone?" She cried quietly. "... I just wanna go home."

"Please- please don't say that, Malakai" Kaz closed his eyes.

"But what if I'm right? And I'm just hurtling at the speed of light to my own death?"

He pulled the paper butterfly from his pocket, holding out in front of her. "No. You're going to make it home. I promise."

Kaz gently pressed his lips against hers. They savoured the moment of peace and warmth.

"You need to come back, okay, Kai? Come back to me."

"For you? Always."

Malakai pulled her half of the butterfly out too, connecting the jagged edge to his. Two worlds make a universe.

Malakai, Inej, Nina and Zoya watched in amazement as Alina and Mal stood together. Beautiful, ribbons of bright light erupted from the two, lighting up the darkness. Sankta Alina. Liberator. Saviour.

"How touching." They all turned abruptly at the voice, Kirigan stepped into the light. "I almost feel bad for what I have to do now. Especially since this has become a... Family reunion of sorts."

Malakai slowly stepped forward, keeping her hands at her side. She gasped as Kirigan willed the shadow monsters to step through the force field of light, watching in horror as he direct the Cut straight at the teenagers. But Alina was faster, blasting the Darkling off his feet. Malakai quickly pulled whatever power she had left inside of herself to hold him down.

"Go, Alina!" The young Shadow Summoner yelled to the Sun Summoner.

They were plunged into darkness, Volcra circling them from above. Then, a searing burst of light pulsated through the shadows. Malakai let go of her hold on Kirigan as she looked up in wonder, strings of sunlight flowed around them. Tearing the Fold and all of its heinous creatures apart, until nothing was left. The sky stretched further than ever before. Alina had done it. Malakai sank to her knees as she felt the exhaustion overcome her body. She stared down at her cold, empty palms. The Shadows were no longer hers to control. And with that came an overwhelming sense of freedom.

Kirigan stood, watching from afar. "Now, you know what sacrifice means."

Malakai flicked a menacing look at him through her eyelashes. "I knew what sacrifice meant before this, more than you will ever know." She hauled herself up from the sand. "Mal and Alina changed the world, for the better. She tore down your Shadow Fold."

"And she has my sympathies for what comes next. What she has done solves nothing. The world doesn't need a Saint to protect it. It needs a monster."

Malakai laughed sarcastically. "I'm glad you're finally aware of who you are, what you are. You will never be a god. You say that the world needs a monster... but where do the people lay their faith? Who do they dedicate shrines to? Gods and Saints. And you will never be either."

She watched in horror as Kirigan fell to his knees, doubling over in pain as another shadow monster ripped itself out of him, taking a hold of her and hoisting her into the air. Malakai writhed against its grip, willing its shadows to crumble beneath her palms. But it didn't work.

"No! Not her!" Kirigan yelled out.

Inej quickly sprang into action, throwing the Neshyenyer with precision. Malakai fell to the ground in a heap, heaving for breath.

Moving quickly, she scrambled across the sand to take the sword in her hands and shoved her father back until his back hit the ground. He was weak and she could feel her own exhaustion as she sat over him, pressing the blade against his chest.

"You really don't know when to stop, do you?" He said through grit teeth.

"Neshyenyer. It means relentless." Malakai recalled what Tolya had said in Bhez Ju. "And, unlucky for you, I'm exactly the same. I will never stop fighting you. I'll see you in hell."

"You are the greatest thing I've ever created, moya rebe (my daughter)." He groaned as she pushed the sword against his skin.

Malakai hesitated, but only for a moment. She grit her teeth. "How ironic then... that I'm the one to destroy you, father."

"You will destroy yourself."

She tilted her head. "The world can do with two less monsters. And I told you. I know what sacrifice means to me." Pushing the sword into his chest, she gasped as a burning sensation spread through her own. Watching in satisfaction as he stumbled backwards into the sand.

Malakai looked up that wide, bright blue sky through blurry eyes. The knowledge that the stars were just on the other side eased her. And as the sun warmed her cold skin, she felt okay for the first time in a long time.

As if something had snapped inside of her, Malakai could see everything so clearly again. And just like everything in life, all good things must come to end. Even Saints.