If Blue Could Be Happiness

Chapter 1

I laid in my bed reliving the same day over and over again.

The day had started like any other, I woke up in bed with my girlfriend of 5 years in our apartment. I fed my cat Lucy and made myself breakfast. Then, she woke up, and everything changed.

"Hey Ethel, think we could talk?" Jameson asked me.

"Sure what's up?" I replied as I made myself a bowl of cereal

"There is no easy or nice way to say this but.. I think we should break up."

"Wh-What?"

"I need you out in a month.. Please."

"Why? What happened? We can fix it at least,"

"No. I hate this Ethel. I hate you. I hate the goth shtick, I hate the music, I hate how my parents hate you. I can't do this anymore!"

"Oh.. Okay," I accepted, unsure what else I could do.

"You can sleep in the guest room until you have a place," she said before disappearing into our, or.. Her, bedroom. I stood in the kitchen, it was quiet other than my cat eating. I didn't know what to do or say really. The two of us met at twelve and had been best friends since, along with starting to date at 15. As far as I could tell things had been perfect this whole time, and I was happy. She never communicated any kind of issues to me. Had she, would I have changed? Maybe. Maybe she knew that.

Jamesons parents were loaded, and they paid for the apartment for us. They also didn't like me, and made it known that they didn't. I wondered if they talked her into this or not, but it didn't matter, what's done is done. I spent the day moving my things from her room to my new room.

It only took me a week to find an apartment with an opening for cheap and quick. Thankfully, my parents said they would help me, but I'm not sure for how long. Jameson hasn't talked to me since the break up, but she already had another girl over, making me glad to leave asap. I had packed away all of my music and makeup, not wanting to use it anymore anyways. I kept my bridge piercing but took out the snake bites I had since 16. I didn't feel like taking care of it, or myself anymore. For the last bit of time I stayed in "our" apartment, I stayed locked up in my room avoiding Jameson and her new girlfriend.

I own a pickup truck to fit all of my stuff in on moving day. I didn't want to make two trips since the apartment was close to my college which was normally a forty minute commute, maybe there is a bright side to this, maybe this town of Lunar Cove will be the bright side.

The apartment is a one bedroom, it's small and in a more run down part of the city, but I didnt mind. It has a small balcony and I am on floor five, so that is kind of fun. Well, other than the multiple trips I had to take to gather all of my things up there.

The place came with a kitchen set up, and a bathroom but that was it. So I had to go shopping, and at the clearance furniture store I found a bed and a couch, along with a stereo system for whenever I chose to play music again. I also was lucky enough to find a desk on the side of the road that was in good shape. I put the desk in my room for my laptop.

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After a week the apartment had furniture and all of my stuff put away, mostly clothes in the closet that I hadn't felt like wearing. My black hair barely fit in a ponytail, but it did at least, so I could ignore it. There was a mirror in the bathroom and I duct taped a towel over it for now not wanting to face myself. I stayed in my pajamas and found myself in a depression I couldn't escape. My room was dark and filled with dishes and snacks. I had only left my bed to make food and most days I made it to class. When home I just sat at my laptop playing shows on netflix that I don't even remember watching. I don't remember class and my notes were nothing.