𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼ℝ | Billy Hargrove

nineteen

Billy

Don't look back, is the only thing I kept on thinking. Because I knew that if I saw her I would have went back. If she had asked me to stay I would have stayed. But she didn't, and now that she wasn't mine anymore I could forget her and all of these feelings would disappear. It had to be this way.

It seemed so simple to me, just leave her and move on. Just one word from her would be enough for me to make her mine again, that's why she had to stay away.

I went to bed that night but I could not fall asleep.

y/n

What a fucking asshole, I hated Billy, I hated everything about him. The way that he laughed, the way that he spoke, the way that he made me feel, just fucking everything.

He wanted this, he wanted me and then he fucking leaves. I let myself go when it came to him, I had started to trust him and maybe even like his company. And I hated myself for it

I wanted to fucking hate him, the only problem about that was that it actually hurt me when he left. As I felt a tear drop down my cheek I knew I needed something to get my mind off him, or someone.

I went to bed that night not sleeping for a single second.

When the sun began to shine I stood up out of bed, I didn't want Billy to drive me to school, there was no way I would ever get close to him again. I didn't want to bother Nancy so there was only one person left.

I grabbed the phone and dialed Eddie's number.

"Hey Eddie." I said

"Good morning." He said with a still hoarse voice

"Would you mind bringing me to school?" I asked

"Billy can't drive you?" He asked

"We broke up." I replied trying not to care about it.

I suddenly heard something fall and Eddie made the strangest noise,

"I'll be there in a bit." He said now sounding more awake.

I hung up the phone and got ready, I knew that a day like this called for extra tight jeans and a shirt that could be seen as too small.

Billy

How would she even get to school, would she be bitter enough to get her license now? I honestly didn't know. I put all of my thoughts about her away, I made this decision and it was obvious that it was the best.

I needed to get her away from me, I was acting as if I actually cared for her which was ridiculous. I hated the way how she made me feel but now that she was gone I didn't know what feeling was worse.

y/n

As much as I wanted to ignore Billy and everything about him I couldn't help but find myself staring as his Camaro drove off. He didn't even glance my way, good for him.

Eddie arrived shortly after and I went with him,

"I'm sorry about you and Billy." He said trying to sound sincere.

"You don't have to act like you care Eddie." I said

"Phew." He laughed

It had been clear to me that no one actually supported me and Billy and I guess all of them were right about him.

He only cared about himself and he simple couldn't care for anyone else. Let alone love someone.

If I wanted to forget Billy I had to stop thinking about him completely, this also meant no more hating. It was true that I was hurt, I let myself trust him while everyone told me not to. It all seemed so simple back then, just fuck and ignore, now he made me care and left.