Sinner's and Saint's

Chapter Five

*** This chapter contains triggering events such as rape, PTSD, and childhood trauma***

I'm pinned face-first against the bricks of the wall as his hand lets go of my mouth and roams over my body. I struggle even harder as he reaches into my waistband and removes the gun I always carry. Shouts and curses leave my mouth, but nobody comes out to figure out what's going on. "Get the fuck off me!" I yell at him.

I'm in a powerless position, and I don't have any way to protect myself. My mind goes back to being fourteen and left home alone with my mom's boyfriend, Jack. A hand gropes between my thighs, and I'm not sure if it's part of the memory or actually happening. "Such a pretty girl alone in a bar. Don't worry, baby. I'll take care of you." That's definitely real.

This voice didn't hold the Creole accent that Jack's had. He's taller and more muscular. He smells of shitty vodka, and not stale beer like Jack always did. "D... Don't touch me." I stutter out, freezing in fear.

A laugh breaks free from him. The taunting sound echoes around us. His arm lets go of my waist as his forearm braces against the back of my shoulder blades, holding me in place with my chest pressed against the wall. "You'll be begging for me by the time I'm done with you." He slurs from behind me, his free hand going to the clasp of my shorts as he starts to unbutton them.

Anger flares, and I stomp my booted foot down on his foot. The man curses, but his knees just bend to press against the back of mine to pin them to the wall. He starts tugging down my jean shorts until my most intimate parts are bare. It isn't until I hear a sob that I realize I'm crying. I've collapsed into the wall, trying to get further away from this man. My memory flashes back to Jack holding me down in the living room as he stripped my underwear off under my nightgown. Then I'm back in the present, where this man cups me and groans. There is a brief respite as his hand leaves me, but it's quickly replaced by terror as I hear him loosening his belt. I remember when Jack had done the same and whipped me with his once it was free from his belt loops every time I struggled against him. The loud crack of leather hitting skin sounded in my memory until I stopped moving. I laid there and let him do whatever he wanted just to get it over quickly. I felt myself falling into that same mindset now as I could feel the back of the man's forearm brushing up and down my lower back as he stroked himself. "You're going to feel so good wrapped around my c..."

He was cut off as his hold against me suddenly disappeared, and I collapsed against the dirty ground as sobs wracked through my body. I was still experiencing flashes of the past, reliving what Jack had done to me. How my nightgown had been torn, and blood ran down my legs when he left me crumpled on the living room floor. He zipped up his pants and left me there as he headed to the bar for more beer. Large hands grab the shorts, still pulled down around my thighs. I kick and struggle against the hold. No, no, no. Not again. I can't let this happen to me again. "Shh, Ghost, It's okay. Let me pull these up."

The voice makes me pause in my struggle. I know that voice. Only one person has called me that name. My shorts and panties are pulled up and buttoned back into place with a gentleness that didn't fit the images playing through my mind. My vision clears as I look up into dark blue eyes. The blonde hair on top of his head is lighter than I had expected it to be while still dirty and matted. Blood drips down his chin staining the collar of the dingy grey shirt he has on. "Milo?" I whisper in a broken voice.

His forehead rests against mine, "I'm here, Ghost. It's okay. I'll never let anyone touch you like that again." He vows in a no-nonsense kind of way.

I start crying all over again, and Milo lifts me to settle me in his lap. His hand runs through my hair soothing me. "Watch Ghost. Look at this disgusting excuse of a man as he dies for daring to touch you." Milo whispers to me in a voice that shouldn't make me feel more secure.