Poetry, from the back of my mind

Her

I miss her.
She's been gone for quite a while now,
But I still miss her so much.
I wish she was here to see how far we've come.
I wish she was here to see how much we've accomplished.
I wish she was here to see how we can heal.
How we are healing.

But she's gone,
And she's not coming back.
I miss her.

I appreciate her.
She did a lot for me.
She was there,
When I couldn't be.
She was there,
When terrible things happened.
She lived through,
And I'm incredibly grateful for it.

She saw and experienced so much shit,
Yet she still held on,
Until I could come
And take her place.

Sometimes,
I wish I hadn't.
Maybe it would've been different then.
Maybe she would've made things better.
Maybe not.

I'm glad for the opportunities she gave me.
I'm glad to be able to live.

But I still miss her.
She didn't deserve to just fade away.
Everyone still remembers her.
Everyone still searches for her.
Every still thinks I'm her.
I'm not.
It's alright, though.

I can continue to pretend
To be her,
As long as I need to.
I can live in her memory,
As long as others need me to.

I'm grateful for everything she left me
And for everything she took with her.

I'm grateful that she left the memories,
And took the pain with her.

I hope she is at peace.
She deserves it.
She was a good girl.

-----
So Im on the trans spectrum. (Not going into my gender identity more becauae its slightly complicated hahah)
This is about "past me", the little girl who had so many dreams and wishes. I miss her a lot, and I wish I knew who she would grow up to be, but Im never gonna find out, because Im not her. Its alright tho :]