The Boy A Life Away

The Last Dance: Part 1

"Do you really not want to go?" He asked with a hint of disappointment in his eyes

"I'm scared of what they'll think of you... what they'll think of us..." I muttered as Arin let go of me and started getting dressed.

"I'm pretty sure that two guys dancing together like a couple will only get us in danger." I added as I could feel the cold air of disappointment and sadness that Arin was exuding.

"Who cares what others think of us? You always are so confident when we go to places like malls or whenever we go outside. Why can't you be confident now?" He rebuked turning to face me. I could see the tears swelling up in his eyes that he was trying to hold back.

"Because this time it's different alright? We'll still be seeing these people for the next two years. I don't want them to find out we're gay." I snapped, my voice rising a little. Arin proceeded to jump back a bit in shock.

"I-... I-m sorry, I didn't mean to shout." I apologized calming myself down

"Are you ashamed of us, David?" He asked, his voice tinged his pain as his expression turned into one of utter despair.

"N-no... of course not" I protested

"It's just that... I don't want anyone to hurt you for being gay... that's all..." I muttered, my eyes darting away from him as I couldn't believe what I have done

"Don't use me as an excuse. I can stand up for myself. Sometimes I think you forget I'm a man too." He replied in a completely serious tone. I've never heard Arin this mad before...

I opened my mouth to apologize yet again but he cut me off

"I'm sorry David. I didn't mean to sound like I was mad at you. I don't want you to do something that makes you uncomfortable... " he said, a bit teary-eyed

"If you don't want to go, we don't need to go." He said in a dejected tone.

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. Arin was looking forward to us going to prom all week. And he was willing to give it all up just because I was scared... just because I was uncomfortable...

"Just... let me go back to my dad's place for a while... I think we both need some time alone to think..." he added as he immediately proceeded to pack some clothes into his bag.

"Don't... don't leave... don't break up with me Arin... please..." my hands shaked as that was all I managed to mutter when he came up to me and hugged me after saying that.

"I'm not breaking up with you, you big dummy... I still love you, no matter what... I just think we need some alone time..." he said, his voice low

I watched as he packed his bags, feeling a sense of sadness and loss wash over me. This was the logical thing to do, I knew that, but it didn't make it any easier.

"We can have fun at home," he said, trying to be reassuring.

"We can have fun somewhere else." he added

I nodded, not trusting my voice. We said our goodbyes, and I watched as he walked out the door, wondering how I was going to get through the next few days without him.

This was the logical thing to do, I tried to reassure myself. There's no actual benefit from going to prom anyway. We can have fun at home... we can have fun somewhere else...

These thoughts just wouldn't leave my head. And soon day turned to night and I found myself sleeping on my bed alone, for the first time in a while. I checked my phone to see if Arin had sent any messages only to see that there were none from Arin. I didn't even care about the other messages I received and instantly plopped down on my bed and tried to sleep.