Kalon

Chapter 20

“Text me when you’re home?”

Y/n doesn’t want to leave like that. She wants to touch Sana, wants an excuse to touch her, but there is none so she settles for a smile and a nod of her head.

-

When she gets home she finds Chaeyoung sitting at the coffee table, doing her homework. She looks up at Y/n and if she had to describe the look on her sister’s face, it would be fear.

Chaeyoung looks positively scared.

Scared of Y/n.

“I’m not mad.” She drops her bag and approaches Chaeyoung. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“I’m sorry.” Chaeyoung lowers her pen. “I’m sorry I told Sana. I know it was stupid. I don’t know why I did it.”

“It’s okay.”

“I swear I didn’t mean to—”

“I said it’s okay.”

Chaeyoung finally seems to register Y/n’s words. “It’s okay?”

Y/n sits down on the couch. “I know you didn’t mean any harm. You’re more open about those things. I’m fine with Sana knowing.”

“You only recently told Lisa about it.” Chaeyoung gives her an incredulous look. “And you’re fine with it?”

She’s right but Y/n doesn’t know why she doesn’t have a problem with it. She doesn’t really understand the things she feels when it comes to Sana.

“Yes.” She nods and Chaeyoung looks at her suspiciously. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Y/n—” Chaeyoung stops her from leaving and when Y/n turns to look at her she can tell there’s something on her mind.

“What?”

But Chaeyoung shakes her head and picks her pen up again. “It’s nothing.”

Y/n thinks about pressing the subject but decides against it, figuring her sister will approach her if it’s something important.

-

Later that night, Y/n gets torn from her sleep by the sound of someone crying.

By Chaeyoung crying.

She gets up from the couch and into her room faster than she’s ever moved in her life, turning on the lights only to find Chaeyoung still asleep; crying in her sleep.

“Chaeyoung.” She says and crouches down next to her bed, gently shaking her sister’s shoulder. “Chaeyoung, wake up.”

Chaeyoung whimpers and Y/n feels her chest ache at the tear that runs down her cheek. She pats her cheek, saying her name again and freezes when Chaeyoung whimpers again. “Mom.”

Y/n stays like that for a few seconds, until Chaeyoung’s crying turns into wheezing. She starts gasping for air and it only takes a second for Y/n to finally move, hurrying to grab Chaeyoung’s backpack which is hidden half under the bed and fumbling to find the puffer inside.

“Chaeyoung!” She says with more force once she’s back at the side of the bed, shaking the puffer in her hand. “Wake up!”

She does. She blinks her eyes open with a gasp, and promptly starts crying harder while she’s still struggling to get air into her lungs.

“It was just a dream. Sit up. You’re having an asthma attack.” She grips Chaeyoung’s arm when she doesn’t react in her panicked, sleep-drugged state and makes her sit upright. “Here. Come on. You know the drill, Chaeyoungie.”

She holds the puffer against Chaeyoung’s lips and lets go of a relieved breath when Chaeyoung finally reacts and opens her mouth to take a long inhale when Y/n presses down on the puffer. Y/n watches Chaeyoung’s chest deflate, the wheezing subsiding.

“Better?”

Chaeyoung looks at her and brings up her sleeve to rub at her wet eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Y/n sighs and places the puffer on the table next to the bed. “What were you dreaming of?”

“Mom.” Chaeyoung says and her chin wobbles a bit. “I think something’s wrong.”

“It was just a dream, Chaeyoung. Those don’t mean anything.” Y/n shakes her head. “You talked to mom earlier. She’s fine.”

“She called me in my dream and she asked me to help her. She was crying so bad.” Her brother looks down on her lap. “What if she doesn’t get better? What if she tries to—”

“She won’t.” Y/n quickly cuts her off. “You trust me, right?”

“Yeah.” Chaeyoung says without hesitation, and Y/n has the urge to reach out and hug her because Chaeyoung suddenly doesn’t look like she’s already seventeen years old. She looks like she’s nine again, sneaking into Y/n’s bed at night because she was scared of sleeping alone after their rooms got separated.

“Then just trust me on this. She’ll get better. She just needs some time to recover.”

Chaeyoung blinks at her for a while, sniffling and Y/n reaches out to grab a tissue and handing it to her with a faint smile on her face cause there’s snot running down her nose. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s fine.” Y/n starts getting up but Chaeyoung makes her stop again, like she did in the living room earlier.

“Do you hate me?”

“What?”

“Do you— Do you still hate me?” Chaeyoung asks, her voice shaking a bit.

Y/n stares at her for a moment, her thoughts one big mess in her head. She’s tired and she wants to go back to sleep because she has an early class tomorrow but she can’t, not when Chaeyoung’s looking like this. “Why would I hate you?”

“I’m not stupid.” Chaeyoung sniffles again. “I know how much you used to hate me. You wanted me gone. Me and dad.”

“Chaeyoung—”

“I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that and I’m sorry I was part of the reason why. And I’m sorry for my dad—”

“Hey, stop it, okay?” Y/n tries to laugh it off but she fails and ends up sounding a lot harsher then she wanted. “I don’t hate you. Don’t think that.”

“You don’t?” Chaeyoung has this expectant look on her face and Y/n knows what she wants to hear; she wants to hear that Y/n loves her, that she’s glad to have her around.

“You’re my sister.” Is all Y/n can say and the disappointment is evident in the way Chaeyoung’s shoulder sag, the resigned nod of her head and Y/n can’t help but feel like she’s let her down again.
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