Kalon

Chapter 4

"No, I’m good don’t worry," She reassures her. "I missed your voice, Y/n. You never call anymore. We always have to ask Chaeyoung what you’re up to."

Y/n gulps, guilt creeping up on her as always. "I’m sorry."

"You always say that. And then you go ahead and act like we don’t exist for so long. You haven’t visited us since what, February? It’s almost April."

"Mom, I know. And I’m sorry. School is just… I’m just too busy. When I’m not at school, I’m at work and the only day I’m free is Sunday but I have to study sometime too, you know."

"I know you’re busy. We know you’re tired but Y/n, we live only two hours away. You can’t even take one day off to come see your family?"

"I’d lose my job—"

"One day, Y/n. You wouldn’t lose your job for that. It feels like you’re just making up excuses so you won’t have to see us." Her voice starts shaking and Y/n feels like trash. She feels absolutely horrible for hurting her mom like that. And she is making up excuses. She could take off a day or two from work to visit them but the thing is; she doesn’t want to.

Because she knows the procedure; she’ll come home, they’ll be happy about seeing her for an hour or two and after that, the fights will start. At least from her dad’s side. He’ll start blaming her for choosing a dumb major that won’t guarantee her a safe income in the future. He’ll start comparing her to Chaeyoung again out of nowhere and he’ll basically just point out how much she sucks as a human being.

Basically anything to make her feel like shit, which he succeeds in, because Y/n will go back to her own apartment feeling worse than she ever has and it’ll take a couple of days and a lot of movie nights with Lisa for her to get back on her feet and stop feeling like she’s a waste of space.

Sure, Y/n could’ve somehow managed to get into a college that was a lot closer to her parents’ house so she wouldn’t have to pay for rent and everything that comes with it. Her relationship with her dad was the main reason that made her want to get as far away as her mom would allow it.

At least Y/n tells herself that her dad was the one who chased her away, because anything else makes her heart drip with guilt.

"Mom…" She starts but she interrupts her.

"You're on school break now, aren't you? We were thinking about visiting your grandparents for a day or two next week. I'm sure they'd be really happy to see you again. You haven't visited them for a while and you know your grandma's condition isn't the best, Y/n/n. She keeps calling and asking when you'll go see them. She's scared she's going to— She just wants to see you before anything bad happens."

Before she dies, is what her mom wants to say.

She sighs and tugs at the hem of her sweater. "They completely ignore me whenever I visit them."

"That’s because you’re so cold." Her mom sighs.

There it is again. Cold.

Y/n isn’t cold. How can a human being be cold? Her body temperature is normal as far as she’s concerned; around 37 degrees when she isn’t sick. She’s warm.

God, fuck this. She knows what she means.

But she also knows that's not the reason why her grandparents couldn't care less about Y/n not visiting them. Her mom never brings it up, no one does. Acting like the ugly truth doesn't exist, like they might just forget about all of it if they simply ignore it long enough.

It's written on paper though, black on white.

Y/n takes a deep breath, stopping herself from digging deeper into those thoughts. The thing is; the entire next week she absolutely has to be at work because most of the students working there are on vacation for spring break and they’re short on staff as it is. She can’t take a day off at all, not on such a short notice.