Cigarettes and Hickies [n.h]

quarante-deux

Ocean's eyes darted down to her friend's line of vision and then decided she would need to act casual about it. 

"This? Oh no. It's just my jacket..." She then realised she wasn't actually wearing a jacket, and then remembered that she had left all of her clothes at the hotel with Niall. She scoffed to herself, feeling annoyed at having left her belongings and started walking towards her room. 

Scarlett didn't seem to question her response and turned the lamp light off again.

"We'll talk in the morning." Ocean muttered as she entered her room before closing her bedroom door. "Goodnight."

Scarlett mumbled a sleepy goodnight as she turned to the side and drifted away to sleep again. Once back in her room, Ocean, looked around her trying to find a hiding spot for the bag. Her friend wouldn't come into her bedroom, but she still wasn't totally convinced on having it somewhere Niall could find it. 

Niall! She realised she still hadn't texted him and looking at the time, she thought he was probably asleep despite the couple of messages he had sent her during the journey. Ocean felt horrible, and thought maybe the best thing to do was to call him. 

So she dialled his number and waited for the line to go through. Almost immediately, Niall picked up the phone.

"Ocean, are ye okay?" Niall asked, his voice worried and strained. 

"Hey," Ocean replied quietly, "I'm fine. I've come back home, I'm sorry." She added as she took off her shoes and was getting ready to get into bed.

"Oh, I see." There was a pause from both parties, as Niall contemplated questioning her about her actions or dropping the subject completely and moving on. He was really pissed off now, but the part of him that was glad to hear from her, almost overpowered his emotions. However, he didn't want to be walked over yet again and so he decided on letting his questions loose as at least the fact she was on the other side of the line gave him some comfort that he didn't have to experience her fury up close. "Why did you leave?"

Ocean didn't exactly know what to respond, she sighed and was about to reply when Niall interrupted her - not baring to wait for an excuse to come out of her mouth. 

"Ye know, I don't want to hear it. In fact, I'm not sorry I said wha' I said. Instead of tellin' me how you felt, you ran away. You ran away again, like a coward. I'm sick of it Ocean. I want to know why you left and didn't say a word?" 

Niall was right, the girl with silvery-blue hair thought as she rested her head on the pillow - she was a coward. A coward for running away from her parents, a coward for not telling Niall how she felt and a coward for not standing up to Jasper and his manipulating ways. 

"I was scared, alright?" She began, "I told you not to fall in love with me, and you did. I didn't know what to do or how to react as I just thought it was a thing that wasn't ever going to happen. You're right, I am a coward. I should have told you that I was no good and that I was scared of being loved. Truly loved."

She began to cry, her gentle sobs echoed to the other end of the line as Niall breathed and all he wanted to do was hug her. 

"I went to see my parents and I didn't even have the courage to face them," Ocean admitted. "I ran away, as I'm scared of what they'll think of me. I'm a disappointment to everyone and I know it."

Niall hadn't realised she had done that, it was also the first time Ocean confessed what her true intentions were during that visit even if she hadn't realised the full intent of her own words. 

"Ye're not a disappointment," The pop star began, "Like I said, ye're just scared of letting your walls down. I'm not Jasper, I'm not gonna hurt you. I just want you to do the same to me, and allow me to treat you right."