On The Ice

- Chapter 12 -

Sienna

I didn't think Xavier would be fun at parties, I thought he'd stay moping in a corner.

We're sat at a barstool still at the bar, we're both being passed shots every now and then. We're both drunk though. Maybe that's how I'm sat on his lap, who knows?

He's really out of it, he's been relaxed before but this is different, he looks happy, maybe more happy then he does when he's talking to Summer.

That may be because he's got a girl on his lap.

"We should go soon." I turn around on his lap, straddling him. "What time is it." His voice right now is really hot, it's like morning voice mixed with his normal voice.

"It's just gone midnight." I tell him, resting my head on his shoulder. "It's not that late, are you sure?"

"Hm, no I'm okay now. I'm comfy." This isn't good, I know we're supposed to be pretending. That really should be him kissing me on the forehead every so often and is holding hands in public.

Not me straddling him at a house party.

"You're hot, y'know that?" Why the fuck did I say that? I'm so screwed.

"Really?" He asks, he's got a really cocky tone in his voice and the biggest smirk on his face. That asshole knows exactly what he's doing, shitfaced or not.

"Mhm."

"I think you're hot too." Shit, I guess drunk words are sober thoughts. I sit up again facing him, he is just so pretty. I want to touch him, okay I know I pretty much cannot be closer to him. But his hair looks so fluffy. I want to touch it.

"You're staring, gorgeous." He whispers, right against my neck. He's going to kill me.

"Let me, please." I wrap my arms around his neck slightly, his body language changes. I'm making him nervous, again.

I can't deal with this anymore, I want to kiss him. I don't know what is stopping me exactly. I could do it right now, it just feels weird? I can't really explain it.

"You're thinking really loudly."

"Can I kiss you?" I ask him, I really blurted that out. I think if anyone at this party is still sober they'll probably be wondering why we haven't kissed at all. "Yes."

I let him grab my face, maybe a little harshly. I really like it though. "Don't make me apologise in the morning?"

"No promises." I smirk at him, finally running my hands through his hair. He smashes his lips on mine, taking me by surprise.

I kiss him back, using the same intensity he is. I'm really enjoying myself, my sober self would probably kill me. I'd let her.

"Fuck." He whispers against me, if I didn't have butterflies before. I definitely do now.

"Now I really want to go." I tell him, who said we had to leave? We could just go upstairs.

"Me too baby." Oh my fucking god.

I am really, really going to hate myself in the morning.

——————

My head is pounding, I haven't woken up yet. Well I have I just haven't opened my eyes or moved. I'm really comfortable though, this bed is really nice.

Shit, this isn't my house.

I open my eyes and sit up, holding the duvet to my chest. I look to my left and he's there, still sleeping. We're so fucked.

I don't remember last night at all. I don't remember coming up here. I don't know if he does either. The last thing I remember is us drinking and laughing.

Then I look to my right and our clothes are on the floor. Shit, shit, shit!

I wasn't going to let this happen, I didn't want any distractions. What happened to that, I really should drink anymore.

I hear Xavier yawn next to me, please say he's awake. I can't be the only one stressing out about this right now.

"Xavier! Wake up!" I shout, I think I startled him.

"Sienna? What the fuck happened? Where are we?" He clearly hasn't seen the state either of us are in yet, he hasn't opened his eyes.

"Oh you have to be fucking kidding me." He opens his eyes and stares at me for a minute, then looks over me at the floor. "Shit." He mutters.

"That's what I said." I sigh and rest my forehead in my hands.

"We're so screwed." He says, falling back onto his back. What the hell were we thinking?

"I know."

"How did we let this happen?" He mutters, running his hands over his face. "We were drinking."

"No shit, I know that."

"So much for fake dating?" I scoff, daydreaming as I look towards the door of the room. "Okay, I know you're hungover. I know you hate questions."

"Sienna, please." He's still laid down, his eyes are trying to adjust to the light.

"Please answer me honestly." I hear him groan as I speak. "What do you about me, what do you want with me?"

"That's two questions, Sienna."

"Xavier, answer me." I'm this close to sitting on him to see if he'll listen. Somehow I don't think that'll work.

"Sienna, I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No."

"Do you remember anything of yesterday?" I ask him, giving him a stern look. "Sienna, I swear to you I don't. If I did we wouldn't be in this situation, I wouldn't take advantage of you if you were drunk."

I'd say I'm relieved but that was a secondary question to my original two.

"What are we going to do, Xavier?"

"I could ask you the same question." He's avoiding looking at me, I think he's trying to be respectful. Mainly because I have my boobs on full display. I clearly have no self-respect.

To be fair to myself, he's obviously seen them before, neither of us remember it.

"Why won't you look at me." I ask him, tilting my head.

"I'm trying to be respectful, I'm really trying." He says, looking towards the wall. "Don't be, drunk or not you've seen me before."

"It's different."

"Is it?" I don't know why I'm pushing this, maybe I'm not fully sober yet. "What do you think of me?" I ask him again, this time making sure I'm covered. "You can look, I'm covered."

He rolls over cautiously, he looks really hot right now. See I'm clearly not thinking straight still.

He sits up, matching my posture on the headboard. "I think you're pretty Sienna, I really do. I just don't know if we would ever work."

Ouch.

"Hm." I nod but look away from him at the same time.

"I have my reasons, trust me. I'm not saying it for the sake of it." He's not trying to get me to look back for pressure to do anything. He's keeping his distance, well as far as you can get while being in the same bed.

"Then tell me, please." I take my hand and touch his face, I really don't know what I'm doing. "Sienna you're going to kill me." He mutters, closing his eyes again.

"I've only thought the same things about you." I admit to him and I notice him tense up. "I just want you to be honest with me."

"And I want to be honest with you, I really do. I just don't know how to."

"Let me help you, please?"