Natasha images bc why not;))

i should hate you (pt.4 to im sorry)

nat was never one to show her emotions.

no matter what, she was always kept to herself. she hated crying or anything that made her out to look weak. its just who she is.

so when she came into your room to find you reading on your bed while listening to music with tears threatening to spill from her eyes you knew right away she wasn't well

putting your book aside you look at her with soft eyes "what's wrong nat?" you whisper loud enough for her to hear

you get a sob in response.

"oh nat... come here." you hold your arms out to invite her onto your bed

she quickly crawls in beside you hugging your body

you know you'll regret this later for giving in so easily but you are much too nice to ignore her

running your fingers through her hair you aren't sure what to do

"whats wrong nat?" you whisper and you can hear her chanting 'im sorry' under her breath
"its okay nat." you try to calm her down "why aren't you mad at me or something?" she cries
"it wasn't fair what i did to you. please just tell me to leave! tell me you hate me!" she says trying to catch her breath

"nat please." you cant help but let your voice crack

you really wanted to avoid this conversation.

you hated facing the reality of it.

"please y/n say you hate me! hit me! please!" nat grabs your wrists and now you cant help but let the tears slip out "natasha please just stop." you cry.

"nat you're drunk. just go to sleep." you snatch your hands from her grip

"im not drunk y/n." she sits up "okay im sorry i just need you to tell me to leave you alone or anything. i really do love you and want to fix this." she sniffles "only if you want to."

you let out a long sigh wiping away any tears.

"nat i- i dont..." you trail off "i hate you for what you did...and i miss you." you mumble "i just don't think i can say no to you and i hate myself for that." you sniffle "i know i deserve better but i don't want anyone else and it's frustrating because i waited months once i notice you weren't your usual self till i found you with um wanda its just really...it all just really sucked so bad." you let out a shaky breath

nat was attentively listening to you throughout your rambling "i have no excuse for what i did im not sure why i did what i did...i don't know i don't really remember what was going on. i still don't understand why i did that...i just know i've never been more disgusted and disappointed with myself...y/n i really do love you and want to fix this i miss you and im sorry."

"yes, you truly deserve better but i think we can make this better." she cups your face

"i want to be better. i think we could fix this."

she leans in to connect out lips and for a moment everything feels better but then the disgust takes over and i have to pull away "if you want this to work i just need some time i don't want to get into anything to fast." i give her a sad smile

she nods "whatever you need."she gives a small smile

to be honest i want to end this with an argument...but i love nat too much.

and everyone say thank you amy for revising this.

much love to mi mejor amiga.<3