my gyu || taegyu

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‘dear kang taehyun,

i have a lot of things to say to you, i don't even know where to start. well firstly; you're a really awful person, a coward, and an idiot. hehe.

i first met you sixteen years ago back when we were just little kids at the school's talent show. you were really nervous to the point you looked like you're about to cry. i remember laughing when you accidentally hit yourself with the mic stand in the head. just so you know, i was really nervous for you that time! that was the time i decided i wanted to be friends with you.

and the second time i met you was when i saw you crying on the playground under the side. telling me that your mom and dad were always fighting... and home doesn't feel comfortable for you. i'm sorry.

i was really sad when you told me you were leaving. but you reassured me that you'll come back for me, and that made me happy atleast. so, i waited for you everyday by the playground (well not really, more like two weeks or so). i remember crying a lot whenever i get home, to the point mom was so worried that she thought i was getting bullied by the kids there.

years later, i met soobin hyung! his mom was a friend of my mom, and we just decided we should hang out.

me and him went to the same high school. and he became my very first friend (along with yeonjun hyung), after you of course.

that time, i kept telling myself that i have forgot about you. and there is no space for you in my brain— that i wouldn't think about you anymore.

or so i thought...

for the third time, i met you, but as a stranger.

you looked like you didn't recognize me. as if i wasn't familiar to you.

i wouldn't really blame you. back in highschool, i was going back and forth to the hospital that i hardly even get to go to school.

i kept trying to build up the courage to talk to you once again, but i can't bring myself to even look at you direction without becoming a flustered mess.

believe me when i say this, i was badly hurt when i found out you started dating this girl named yeju? heeju? hyeju..? or something, i don't really care about her. soobin hyung wasn't even able to talk to me properly without me suddenly crying. and i remembered almost hitting yeonjun hyung with a chair when i found out he was the one who introduced the two of you to each other and decided to set you two up.

so also believe me when i tell you the absolute joy i felt when i found out you two broke up. (i also almost hit yeonjun hyung with a chair because of happiness)

that was so embarrassing (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

but then...

years later, i finally met you once again. but not in the way i hoped.

the day at the library, i wasn't expecting to see you honestly. the absolute shock i was when i saw you... to the point i slapped you out of the blue. i'm sorry, that must've hurt a lot. i was so embarrassed with myself with what i did that i couldn't bring myself to face you anymore. but then again i did...

to my surprise, you happened to be the ‘friend’ yeonjun hyung wanted to introduce to us.

without wasting anything, i decided to gather the courage to talk to you, atleast become your friend for the least. you have no idea how happy i was when you agreed to being friends with me (again?) despite your sarcastic and mean remarks.

but at the same time, i was so sad when i realized you probably don't even remember me anymore.

i just kept on pursuing you. i was so desperate to be part of your life once again that i did anything possible just so i could keep spending time with you. annoying you, the random texting and calling. just anything, so i could be close to you.

i'm sorry for that annoying behavior.

i still remember the fluttering feeling when you drunkenly confessed your feelings for me. the feelings just kept on mixing together. i was happy... anxious... even hungry lol.

i also remember the time you called me ‘your gyu’. i was so flustered. you were probably so embarrassed by that, huh?

the times i spent with you... i felt like i was in euphoria. i felt like i was in heaven. i was so happy i felt like i was going to die, not quite literally! i always felt like as if time had suddenly stopped and the world was spinning around us.

i loved the idea of being loved by someone like you, kang taehyun♡

these five whole months with you, as your lover, was the happiest i had ever been. i didn't want it to end. i wanted to be by your side in every second i breathe, i wanted to spend my whole life with you. i want to treasure these up until my next life.

i don't know if you still remember our promises when we were kids, but i wanted us to get married, and spend the rest of out lives together.

even though, there were times where you could coward away and leaving me all alone, i still chose to love you.

it was a privilege to be loved my someone like you.

i love you
i love you, kang taehyun, my one and only!

my only regret is that i wasted all those times shying away from you... that we didn't have much time together.

just know, i never had the plan to stop loving you. you're my first, and very last love.

i wished we had more time.

sincerely, gyu.

ps. thank you for the canelés, they were delicious.’

—

tears suddenly ran down from taehyun's eyes as he stared at the letter his lover wrote for him. his chest felt so heavy it hurts.

when was the last time he felt like this?

he can't remember.

taehyun wiped his tears, weakly smiling at the letter. “i miss you...” he whispered, “i want to... h-hug you right now.”

“i love you, my gyu.”