Nova

Curiosity killed the cat

Tonight I wanted people to watch in through the windows. Like a movie, because that's what it felt like. It felt surreal. This was my life, a life that was a lie. I needed people to see how fucked up everything was. Or maybe I needed someone to tell me that it wasn't as fucked up as I thought. Someone to tell me that it was 'just another Friday night'. I knew it wasn't. It was fucked up.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Phoenix was done trying to read me. His eyes showed concern as they pierced my own. His eyeballs going left to right and a frown attached on his forehead.

"Worrying don't suit you." I stated. My voice nonchalant, and my eyes lazy. I was tired of telling people I didn't trust about my feelings.

A day a go I would gladly talk to Phoenix about my worries and problems, but now I couldn't bother. He knew this all along, but pretended I was his sister. He could have told me. He was given free will.

"Well, I will always worry about you." Phoenix was still a little perplexed by my harsh demeanor. He kept looking at me without saying much.

I didn't answer him. I didn't want to. Instead I rolled my eyes at him and span the chair so I could face the window and not my brother.

"Come on Nova. Say anything. I know you're mad, and I can't stand you being mad at me." Once again he took my the chair to make it face him.

I looked straight at him. My eyes scanning his face. He shifted a little in his seat while trying to keep eye contact with me. A small smirk made its way to my face when I saw his uncomfortable state. Making a grown man uncomfortable is a win, especially when it's one of my brothers.

I would've preferred it to be Orion or Vulcan instead of Phoenix, but a win is a win. Right now I didn't care that much.

"Nova?" He asked. His voice low as he didn't know what was going on. I could tell he was trying to figure it out but failed. "Please, say something." He upmost begged me. His head was low as he looked down at the ground.

"You're so selfish." My words came out harder then I wanted them to. My voice was low, the words was said with so much despair. It was the hard truth.

Phoenix wasn't even the worst one. He was the one who came to talk to me, while the rest of my family had gone missing for the past few hours. They probably sent him. They knew I wouldn't be that mad at him. But still he deserved my coldness.

"What did you just call him?" Both me and Phoenix snapped our head up to the new voice.

Everyone of my brothers was standing there. The voice came from a fuming Vulcan.
Honestly I don't know what his deal is.

I looked up at him with a boring look. "I called him selfish. All of you are. He's sitting here telling me how he hate that I'm mad at all of you for lying to me. All of you deserve to be called selfish." I was now standing up in front of Vulcan. I was a few meters away from him but he was silent walking towards me to fill the space between us.

"Vulcan. Don't." I heard Orion warn him. Vulcan just waved him of.

He gave me a humorless laugh and a smile I couldn't read. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him. He looked mad. Why was he mad?

"You think we're selfish?" He asked slowly. He talked to me sardonically.

"Yes I do. You kept something from me." I told him straight up. I felt so brave. Little did I know that that was going to change.

"You want the truth?" He gave out a mockingly laugh. I should've stopped. I shouldn't have agreed to hear the truth.

I nodded at him.

"Vulcan. You need to stop now." Phoenix had once again stood up from his seat on the couch. He had one foot in front of his body while his arm was stretched out ready to step in to protect me from Vulcan.

"The whole truth?" Again I nodded

Would he really hurt me? He was my brother. family

While thinking about it all the stories about me adoring my brothers, it was always just Orion. Never Vulcan.

"The princess wanted the truth, the brat will get what she want." I looked wide eyed at Vulcan. His words stung. But what he said next did more than sting.

"You weren't wanted." He said to me. His tone was harsh. I went numb right there. As my chest physically ached and the familiar feeling of my throat closing I stood there watching my older brother as he kept on talking. I didn't interrupt.

"You're standing here and calling everyone that let you live selfish. Especially Phoenix." He pointed at my brother. I looked at him and all I could see was sadness as he let out older brother talk.

"If it wasn't for Phoenix and Caelum you wouldn't have existed today. They wanted a baby in the family so bad that they managed to convince Carina to keep you the day before she had a doctor appointment.

Orion, dad, mom and even Carina managed to to make space in their hearts for you. You loved Orion from the first time he held you. I started to think that maybe you weren't that bad, but when you were a few months old and Carina left, I knew you were the reason.

She couldn't stand to be around someone who made her think about the biggest trauma in her life. So she left.

You are the reason I lived without my sister for four years. You should've never been born. No one wanted you. You are a result of rape. That will never change." Vulcans harsh words hit hard. It felt like I was slapped several times in a row.

My teary eyes overflowed while I harshly wiped it away. I didn't want them to se me cry.

"Everything is my fault then? Carina leaving?" My voice shook as I asked him. Tears continued to flow down my face.

Vulcan looked at me with fury. He studied everything about me. "Congratu-fuking-lation solving that. You must have your birth fathers IQ." He said to me.

My chest pained as I looked into the eyes of my brother. He stood there while his words sank in. A look of disbelief crossed his face before he turned around and walked away from me.

Curiosity killed the cat. Satisfaction brought it back to life just to kill it again.