I'm Not Okay, I Promise. |Second Part To 'Stay With Me'| Adopted By Frank Iero

Falling Apart

*contains themes of suicide and addiction*

--Frank--

I'm a horrible father. Here I was in the garage, smoking a blunt for the first time in five years. I had quit just four years before Ash. That shit messed me up a lot.

Then the door opened again. I looked up to see Jamia. I smiled a bit.

She looked down at me sadly. I hated when she was sad. We didn't say anything, she just helped me up and to my room. I lay down on my king-sized bed. She sat on the edge.

I sat up to face her. She smacked me.

"I deserve that," I whispered.

She got up this time.

"What the fuck Frank! You have a child! A child came home to see his father smoking alone in the garage. What were you thinking?! We're you thinking this kid who grew up with addicts wouldn't know? Do you think the kid who's trying to quit would know? Do you think your own family wouldn't know? That's fucked up! This is so fucked up Frank!" She yelled at me pacing around.
All I could think about was Ash.

"Where's ash?" I asked standing up. She pushed me back down jabbing a finger in my face.

"No! You don't get to go out there and pretend your fine! Your kid is sitting in his room crying his eyes out! I'm taking him for the night." She said, she slammed the door on her way out. Finally, her words registered in my head. She was taking Ash for the night. She was taking my kid. I had fucked up badly this time.

I ran out my door downstairs.

"Wait. Wait, wait! This is my kid. If he's going anywhere it's with Gee. You're way too fucking emotional right now and we both know it Jamia." I said gritting my teeth. She sighed.

"Well, who do you want to explain this shit to him then hm?" She yelled at me. Ash was in the car waiting. He could see us. I pulled her towards the shades. She threw her hands off me and then looked out the window. She nodded to herself.

"I want him to go with Gee. I want what's best for him right now and that's with Gerard." I said sternly. She started to cry.

"You don't trust me? You don't trust me with this child who you have hurt?" She asked. Her voice was coated with his anger and sadness.

"Jamia. You know that isn't true. I just want him to go with Gerard." I said calmly. I gripped her shoulders. She looked at me.

"Fine. I'll take him to Gerard's." She said sternly. She slammed the door on her way out. There I stood watching my family leave me.

The jigsaw family was falling apart.

--Ash--

Jamia had dragged me out of my room. Maybe it was a mistake calling her, I can handle Frank by myself. I can handle it, I promise I can.

Jamiam got in the car, she slammed the door shut.

"Alright kiddo. Off to Gee's we go!" She said trying to mask her sadness. It didn't work, she was still crying. I rolled my eyes at her attempt.

--time Skip to Gee's house--

I was sitting on the couch now. Jamia was explaining to Gee what had happened. I fucked up. I should be helping dad. I looked at the kitchen. Then to the door. It had been two hours, and Jamia had taken me to get food.

I looked back at the door and then at them. I needed to get out of here, we were only a couple blocks away from dad, and I knew the way home.

I walked towards the door. I opened it slowly but fast enough not to make any noise. I didn't close it all the way so it wouldn't make noise. I had gotten out, now to get to my home in the dark.

I ran down streets and streets.

This was my fault, I should have been there to help him. I can handle it. I swear I can.

After about twenty minutes I was standing in front of my house. It was dark except for the bathroom light that shinned through the darkness of the skyline. I took the key from under the mat and unlocked the door.

"Dad! Dad, I'm home!" I yelled. No response. I ran upstairs. The bathroom door was closed. Along with all the other doors in the house. Strange.

I looked around. I entered his bedroom, no sign of him. I went to the kitchen, but no one was there either. I ran back upstairs.

"Dad!" I called. No response still. I tried to open the bathroom door but it was locked.

"Dad, open the door," I yelled. Still silence.

I slammed my body against the door. It wouldn't budge. My side ached. I banged my body again. Still nothing. I ran back to my room and threw shit everywhere.

Eventually finding a Bobby pin. I smiled.

I ran back to the bathroom and picked the lock open. I sighed as the door opened.

"Dad?" He was slumped over the bathtub. He still didn't answer. Oh my God, he was unconscious. I slid the floor.

"Dad!?" I asked again. I was hopeless.

I turned him to face me. He had pills in his hands. Round white pills. I gasped. Tears pricked at my eyes.

He was trying to kill himself.

"No, no no no please God no. Not now, no please." My hands shook as I fidgeted with my phone. I stopped. If I called 911, they'd take me from him.

I moved my hand to his neck, there was no pulse. Tears started flowing down my eyes.

"Oh, my god." I shook as I dialed 911.

"9-1-1 what's your emergency?"  A man asked.

"It's my dad. He doesn't have a pulse and he's hunched over the bathtub and I dunno what to do please God help me." My words were rushed.

"Okay calm down for me. Can you tell me you're name?" The man asked.

"I'm Ash. Please just help me!" I yelled getting angrier.

If I was here this would have never happened. Now they'd take me again.

My hands shook. The man's voice went fuzzy. Was this a dream?