DEATH

Geu Saram

Jennie came back home very late at night and she brought along supper. Then the two of them ate peacefully in the living room.

After a few days of research on the difference between Jennie and I, this was my main finding: except for being clumsy and having terrible culinary skills which is not bad but not good, she was better than me in every other aspect.

Besides appearance and feelings, Jennie won because she and Lisa interacted on an equal footing. She never had to interact the way that I did with Lisa; Jennie didn't always went along with Lisa's bidding

I no longer felt indignant that everyone in the world was not equal. Jennie was neither humble nor arrogant and she was an independent person. I felt that I should learn from her character.

By right, what was yours will be yours. If it wasn't yours, it wouldn't be yours no matter how much you beg for it so there was no need to be pretentious and there was definitely no need to go as low as me.

Jennie liked Lisa but she didn't look like she couldn't handle a life without Lisa so Lisa was very gentle when she was with Jennie. If she wasn't gentle, she couldn't guarantee that Jennie would continue liking her.

This was different from me who was thoroughly ensnared by her.

Jennie was one of the most perfect person that I had ever seen in this world. Her appearance was moving and she had a heart of gold. Even her conduct was right. People couldn't help but think that she was a creation of god when her mood was good.

I deeply loved Lisa and I had felt that she was also once just as perfect.

The result from getting together with me and being waited upon by me was that she became a cold and violent person who liked to do things her way.

Fortunately, she only acted that way towards me.

She was a very good lover when she was with Jennie.

I remembered a fairy tale that I had heard before where two imperfect people became perfect together when they meet.

It was a mistake for her to be with me. It was only natural that she couldn't become perfect.

She became more perfect now that she was finally able to meet and be with someone that was perfect.

I was much more selfish in the past. I wished for Lisa to be happy but I always broke Lisa and Jennie apart when they were happy together. I wasn't able to pretend that I didn't see them and I definitely wasn't able to give them my blessing.

It was impossible for me to give up. As long as I was alive, I wouldn't be able to see her with someone else. I could truly set her free only when I die.

I didn't know whether I should laugh or cry now that I had become a ghost.

I now only look at them in admiration. I had learned to admire how beautiful it was to see them together.

Despite that, there must be something that I had not done well enough since I was still unable to ascend to heaven.

Maybe I have to wait for the day when I can sincerely wish for their happiness in order to be free.

How strange. One week ago, I had thought that this was something impossible to achieve. Yet now, I could feel that such a day would come very soon.

I had nothing to do when the two of them were deep asleep and the surroundings were quiet so I would continue to evaluate my love rival's perfect character.

Jennie was also a very strong person.

She was fighting against a very serious illness when we were at the hospital that year. However, she was smiling the brightest when she was in front of the screen afterwards.