Worth The Fight ✓

Chapter Twenty Two

I turn my head. "How do you know?" This explains the car. Did she drive all the way by herself?

"My mother told me."

"Who drove her here?"

"I don't know."

Sighing, I place the key into the lock and open the door. I spot Mum and grandma sitting in living room, their eyes red. They both turn at us when they hear the sound of door. I look at them blankly, remembering the conversation we've had with mother and how stupid I was to go have fun when she was crying her eyes out here. I planned stupid things when my grandpa died - instead of grieving, I have been in a stupid party. I'll never forgive myself for that.

"Jacqueline," my grandma cuts the silence. "Levi."

"Grandma." The next instant, I throw myself in her arms and it feels like home again after ages - the smell, the touch and the softness of her arms around me. Like she guards me against the world. She protects me. She puts barriers between me and the world. But right now, I wish she could save me from myself - from my thoughts and pain. But I know it's harder for her than it's harder for me. I've lost my grandfather.

On the other hand, she's lost her breath, her soul and her only friend in this world. I should be comforting her, I remind myself, don't be selfish. We cry for a while, loudly and without caring the people among us. It's one of the rarest times I let it out. My pain, my sadness. "Grandma," I manage to get out of my mouth between the tears, "why..." I can't finish the sentence but I know she gets it - she gets me.

She takes a deep breath to stop her sobs. "He - he had a heart attack."

And I wasn't there. I couldn't say to him that I love him. Did I tell him enough before? No. I wasn't the type of saying it frequently. But hope he knows that I fucking loved - love him. He was always closer to me than my father has ever been. I'll always love him.

"He couldn't make it."

"I didn't tell him goodbye. I've been a horrible granddaughter."

She caresses my hair. "No darling, you've been the most amazing thing in our lives. You've been a daughter to us. He always loved you, Jacqueline, he died loving you."

"I wasn't there for you for two years because of a stupid thing."

"It's okay, we fathom it."

"Grandma, I'm sorry. Does he know that I'm so sorry?" I am crying while asking that with a trace of hope in my tone.

"He sees you and he knows that - he knows everything. He probably is mad at us right now for crying. He was against the time-waste," she murmurs, chuckling softly. "Now he considers this as a waste. He'd have wanted us to smile."

"He used to tell me that life is so short to be sad over. That only good things should matter."

"And only good people should be allowed," she completed for me.

"He was so wise," I say in disbelief. "How can someone like him meet death? He seemed so permanent in this world, as if he was immortal."

"That we can't see him doesn't make him mortal, darling. He's immortal." She touches the left side of my chest. "Right there, in our hearts." A soft smile plays on her lips again although her eyes are teary. I admire her for everything; but right there, I admire her for her strength. Her heart is shattering, breaking into pieces but she smiles at me like life is still going on - there is a lot to handle. She looks at me like she's saying stay strong. She probably repeats it to herself all the time.

Even though she lost her love, she tries to keep me sane - she saves me. She's the epitome of a true mother.

"I missed you, grams," I whisper, my head buried in her chest. I let her brush away my pain with her fingers in my hair.