Madness combat x simp (aka you)

(Phobos x reader) Rude >:(

"...Hi-"

"What are you doing here."

Phobos interrupted as he stared at the very same person he's been thinking about the entire day, the same one that has been consistently mocking and disrespecting him for way too long, standing outside the door with a package in hand.

"First of all, it's rude to interrupt pe-"

"Answer me."

They silently stared at him with a 'bitch' expression for a second before answering.

"The usual delivery guy got sick. So I'm taking his job until he feels better. Happy little accident huh?"

He glares at them and their cheeky grin as he brutally grabs the notepad and pen out of their hands and starts signing.

...

...very long signature he has...

..................

"...Is the drawing of you on a throne really ne-"

"Yes."

"Stop interrupting me! It's rude!" Are they really talking to their god emperor as if he was a stupid child? That piece of shit!

"You're rude. Now scra- ahem. Leave at once."

The smile on their face only gets larger.
"Imagine calling someone rude and then telling them to scram. Not like it'll be possible anyway, I have like 3 other people in this building I need to deliver stuff to. So unless you want to play delivery boy to them, I'm going to have to come inside."

Phobos' eye twitches. What kind of plot convenient badly written gacha life coincidence stupidity is this?! He's not humiliating himself like this! He can just go back to his office and use the intercom!

"I'll send a message to them. Who are you looking for?"

"Huh. This is probably the most polite you've been to me so far. I've got a Christoff, a Hoffnar, and a Crackpot."

"Oh...That stupid Crackpot is never going to want to come in here..."
He heavily sighed as he rubbed his eye. They don't know who that Crackpot is, but they sure as hell make their boss sound exhausted.
He stared a little more at the subsitute delivery person, before making a hard decision.

"You're coming with me in my office. Anywhere else would disturb my employees work."

Not sure how just standing around would disturb any work, but they just shrugged and accepted it as they followed Phobos back to the top of the tower.

"...And I've tried to be polite with you before, but you insisted on being a disrespectful little fool. So you only have yourself to blame."

"I know."

They eventually reached the elevator, which was great for the director as there was no one in there to look at the two of them weirdly or to judge him when he slightly drops his fancy talk and posture. Sure, he liked it, but it's way less natural from time to time, especially when all he wants to do is curse the gods he wishes so desperately to be for putting THIS person next to him.

"...Say, why doesn't Crackpot want to go to the delivery and storage room?"

"Fuck if I know. This man never makes sense."

...

"What did they order anyway?"
Might as well make some small talk if they're going to stay at the top of a very tall tower for some time.