Icy Protector

2| Entrance Exam

"Come on! Just help me!" Dazai says from in an oil barrel.

"No. I could have told you that that method of suicide would be painful. How can you be so smart yet so stupid at the same time?" I ask, standing next to him.

"So you want me to die?"

"No. I will stop it before you die. Why don't you see if Atsushi will answer your call?"

"Fine," Dazai says calling Atsushi. "Hey, Atsushi, how's your new lodging? Did you sleep well?" There's some silence and then Dazai says, "That's great to hear. By the way, I have a favor to ask. I'm dying. Help me."

Atsushi comes outside and I say, "Hey Dazai, it seems your savior is here."

"This might be sudden, but help me out of here."

"What's this?" Atsushi asks confused.

"What do you think it is?"

"So we're making him take a quiz? Quiz time then!"

"So what do you think it is?" Dazai asks.

"Morning hallucinations?"

"Wrong!" I say.

"I heard of this suicide technique, so I immediately wanted to try it out. But I'm not dying at all, it just freaking hurts. You'll gradually fall if you don't push your midsection downwards. I'm almost at my limit."

"You're friends, aren't you? Then why are you just watching him? Also, if this is considered suicide, then why don't you keep going?"

"I don't want it to hurt obviously," Dazai says.

"I see," Atsushi says pushing the barrel over. As Dazai gets out, Atsushi says, "Did you ask your colleagues?"

"Yes. But they were all like 'Good for you. You're actually doing it.'"

"Bellatrix, why didn't you help?"

"Because if you read about the topic of this type of suicide, you see that you will get split in two. If you think about that then you can know that it would be painful and it might take a while to get enough tension to split you in two. Then after you split in two, if you haven't passed out from pain, you would still feel the pain and then bleed out," I say. "So in short, Dazai didn't think at all. I thought that he deserved some pain for being so stupid."

"Hey! Don't call me stupid!"

"Well, what you just did was stupid," I say as we start to head into town.

"Where are we going?" Atsushi asks.

"We're thinking of finding you a job," Dazai says.

"Really?"

"We can take you to the job, but there will be a test."

"A test?"

"Can you read and write?"

"Yes."

"Then you'll be good."

"Thank you."

"Just leave it to us. My name is Dazai! The man who basks in the company's trust and the reverence of the people!"

"And I am Bellatrix. One of the company's most trusted employees and loved by the people!"

"There you guys are!" I hear Kunikida shout. "You bandage-wasting device! And you Bellatix, why aren't you at work yet?"

"Because I was observing Dazai being stupid."

"Kunikida, who are you calling a bandage-wasting device?" Dazai asks.