Wine for Your Sake [Zoro x OC]

24. Palate

(POV: Zoro)

What can I tell her?

That I hate her? That I want her to leave so I could stop worrying about her? That I want her to stay so we can continue this endless stalemate?

I'm not sure. Ever since we left that grotto, my thoughts have tangled to a point of no return. They've pushed and pulled at each other, so much so that I could barely distinguish how I thought about her.

I want to beat her. After the first devastating cut I give my opponents, I see fear in their eyes. Perhaps I felt a bit of pity, but it was nothing compared to how much I enjoyed feeding off of their desperation. I had cut Jun that night. It wasn't a clean cut, but it was big enough and deep enough to display how physically outmatched she was. And yet she smiled. She fed off of her own pain; indulged in her own suffering. Was it the thrill she felt? Could she manifest her fear into bravery? I could never figure it out. Whatever it was, it left an unsatisfactory palate in my mouth, and until I beat her, I can never leave without cursing myself.

I want to protect her. She is going against the world. As soon as she leaves the Sunny, what would happen? She is strong... very strong. But to think the rest of CP0 could come for her - to think an Admiral could come for her - it surely won't end well. Her power is too dangerous to be kept lurking around. Despite knowing it all, she would never let me try to help her.

I want to see her beat the world by herself. Yes... I like feeding off others' fear, and so does she. When Lucci collapsed to the ground, I could see the pure terror embedded in his expression. Jun might have been half-conscious at the time, but I knew she was watching him as he counted down his seconds. In the future, when she beats more people, a small part of me wants to take a look, step back, and say: "I helped unleash that monster."

I don't want to see her face. If she leaves and becomes wiped from my memory, then I wouldn't have to deal with this dilemma.

I want to learn from her. My Haki, for all it's worth, is still sloppy and unrefined. Mihawk is much better at that than I am. And Jun, with her Observation Haki, is even better. To be the best, I must surpass her in every aspect. To be the best, I must learn how she does it.

I want to kiss her.

I never had the taste for wine, but something about its flavor changes as soon as I meet her lips. I want to run my hands through her hair, pull her closer, wrap my arms around her body, feel her skin - that was rough here, but silky there - and feel her hands navigate through my back as she breathed against my lips. And even if I were to have all of that, I'd still want more.

So what can I tell her?

The only definite answer was everything. I want to do everything to her.