Three Strikes [✓]

Departure

"That's not really an easy question to answer," Naomi said, forcing out a breathy chuckle to try and seem more at ease. She was about as 'okay' as one could be when almost everyone she cared about was in a warzone. She took a deep breath, trying to keep in the urge to start pacing. "I'm fine. I think. I've just been thinking a lot."

"Okay, then I have a better question for you," Beckett said, leaning back in his seat. He looked at her sympathetically as he spoke. "What's on your mind?"

"The operation," Naomi practically blurted out. She gave in and started pacing since it was the only way she could keep herself from going insane. As she did, she explained the problem to him. "I know that I was all for it, and believe me I still am. And I understand that having close relationships with the people on the battlefield with you means things can get...complicated. And things are very, very complicated right now, as if they weren't complicated enough. But..."

She trailed off, trying to find the words. After a short pause, Beckett tried to fill in the blanks for her. "But you're still worried about it, aren't you?" he asked, and she glanced his way and nodded. He began to lightly tap his pen on his desk as he thought through his next words. It didn't take long for him to find what to say. "Well, if it's your men that you're worried about, I know each and every one of them will be fine. You're a good leader, you've kept them alive this far. If it's our guys on the ground, I trust Jacob to keep them alive." Naomi didn't pause in her pacing, letting out a quiet but frustrated huff. That was enough to tip him off. "But something tells me it's not as simple as that. Am I off?"

"No." Naomi didn't stop her pacing, grabbing a fistful of her hair as tightly as she could while she paced, trying to stave off her frustration and growing anxiety. "I'm always worried about my guys. I'm naturally worried about the guys on the ground. It's just..." She hesitated again, and paused for a few moments just to gather her thoughts. She lowered her voice a bit. "It's just different. Everything is...so different."

"I see," Beckett said, a soft smile crossing his face. It was faint, but still there. And she had no idea if it was amusement or his attempt to set her at ease. "It's your dad you're worried about, isn't it?"

There wasn't any reason she should be surprised that he guessed it so easily. Her anxiety was cranked up to eleven. There were plenty of people she could be that worried about, but only two that complicated things. Naomi resumed her pacing, but at a slower pace, nodding to confirm what Beckett had asked before she said anything. "We've been in combat together before. I was worried then, but no more than usual," she said. "But this is different."

"Because you're in the air and he's on the ground?" Beckett guessed, and when Naomi nodded he sat back with a sigh. He tried to reassure her, though he clearly had no clue how to go about that with how slowly he spoke, choosing every word as carefully and gently as he could. "You've had allies on the ground before. This isn't any different than that."

"Except that it is. He's my father...I don't play favorites, you know that, it's just..." Naomi clenched her fists, almost stumbling over her own feet. No one ever said frustrated pacing was meant to be graceful. The embarrassing almost-trip was enough to get her to snap out of her head, coming to a stop in front of Beckett's desk. He watched her quietly, patiently waiting for whatever it was she needed to say. "In the air I can try to control things. But for the people on the ground, all I can do is just...fight off what I can and hope it's enough. And I'm not against the operation or against them going, I'm..." She hated to admit it, least of all to a commander she was still getting to know, but there wasn't any better way to explain it. "I guess I'm just afraid. I mean, I feel like I'm afraid all the time, but with the way things have been going and how high the stakes are I'm scared I'm gonna lose everyone. It's my worst fear at this point."