No hope [Tubbo Angst]

Its never the right time

It's now Thursday and I will be taking off my bandages tomorrow..

Can't wait to see how bad it is- or cool I guess?

I sat up to see dream talking in the phone with sapnap, but then he acknowledged my existence. now of days he has kept a close eye on me so I don't think anything of it.

When suddenly

"Hey Toby, do you want to see sapnap today?"

I didn't expect that!?

"Uh, you sure?"

"Yea, they want to help take off the bandages"

"They?"

"George and sap"

"Oh, alright!"

"Also sorry about the fight dream..."

"Hey, it was a heated moment, we all say things we regret when we are in a situation like that"

I know he actually does care because his soft calming truthful smile and his eyes show sympathy

"Alright, what time though?"

"Well-, me and sapnap where wondering if we could go...now?"

...

"Uh, ok!"

•.•.•.•

We made it to sapnaps house which is HUGE BTW!

I never when to sapnaps or George's house so this is my first time seeing nicks house.

I got knocked out of my thoughts when dream knocked on the door

All I heard was running, arguing and tumbling from the inside of the house and I could already tell, it was sapnap and George...

The door slammed open with a panting sapnap behind it with a sitting George behind him

"Hi Tubbo!"

"Hey..."

"I know you may be confused on why we want to help take of the bandages but, we really just want to see how bad it is and how much money we have to give you to forgive me and George"

Oh wow, how thoughtful.

Never thought I was worth a couple of dollars, and that they need to see how much pain I am in for me to matter.

"Whatever let's just get this done and over with, these bandages are getting itchy."

"Right... come in, my room is up stairs and to the left, I will be up there in a bit I have to get a drink of water"

"Ok" dream said putting his hand on my head

•.•.•.•

"So how have you been tubbo?"

"I've been better, but I guess my better won't be coming since I have scars all over me."

Sapnap looked so guilty...

That was fun to look at.

"So what do you want to take off first?
Bandaged chest or face?"

"Face, because it's the main place the firework hit"

"Alright, but be carful because my face still hurts when touched"

So this is it...

I probably look ugly as hell.

They started to take the bandages off my face and they all looked surprised and guilty, but sapnap looked like he was on the verge of tears because of the guilt

I started to freak out because I didn't think it would be to bad because it was probably just a little scratch.

WRONG

I looked in the mirror and I felt...

Disgusted...

In myself for even being able to look like that...

I look horrible... HIDEOUS EVEN!

"W-what-..."

"Toby I'm sor-"

Before he could even finish his sentence I ran out of his house to somewhere nobody could see me...

A allyway...

Dumb of me to do, right?

I sat down on the floor and started to let all my problems out in my knees, and after I started...

I couldn't stop

•.•.•.•

Hours past of me crying and I was now about 2:36am now...

I never went home and I never stopped crying... for so many hours, to many to count.

I did fall asleep for like 3 hours but then I woke up and went straight back to my tears.

I hung on to my knees for dear life, as if they would run away as soon as I lost a little bit of grip.

I finally got up and stopped at the liquor store right next to the flower shop.

I went in and got my dad's license from my pocket that I picked yesterday before leaving.

The person didn't think anything of it because of the scars on my face so I think he thought I was older than I was.

I left with some whiskey, vodka, and 2 things of beer, one for me and one for my dad.

He can drink his problems away so...

Why can't I?...