connected|chan

-eleven-

"Uh—hello." ChangBin looks up from his bed to see SeungMin sniffling.

"Hi." SeungMin rubs at his eyes before hurrying to climb into bed with him.

"What's going on?" ChangBin questions, dropping his phone to willingly taking the younger in his arms.

"They wouldn't just leave me alone. I just wanted to be left alone—Felix barged in and wouldn't stop cuddling me—then MinHo came and took him into the hall—but they stood out there listening—it—it made me feel suffocated—I couldn't breathe knowing they were listening so closely. I just—I just wanted to be alone. They already know what's going on—so why do they have to be so—so nosey?" SeungMin lets it all out, his oldest Hyung nowhere to be found—but truthfully—he doesn't know if he could talk to him even if he was here.

"They aren't trying to be, Seung. They're just worried. I think the fact they know what's going on is what makes them even more worried. They know that you're really trying for Chan's sake and they don't know how to help you. Do you know how hard it was for me to not call and checkin on you again? I tried really hard because I knew it would put more pressure on you. I knew that if you needed me you'd come to me." ChangBin explains as he allows the younger to cuddle up to him.

"Honestly—I didn't want to come to you. I wanted to go to Chan—but we both know that wouldn't end well. He's always the one that helps me make sense of everything—but now he's the cause of my confusion." SeungMin swallows hard, trying to keep his emotions at bay.

"Did you reach out to him? I mean—he is with Hye—that doesn't mean he won't answer you though. He's always willing to answer us if we text him—as long as he didn't fall asleep or something. Calling is different—he's not a huge fan of that." ChangBin reminds SeungMin of Chan's preferences when it comes to getting in touch with him when he's with EunHye.

"You don't get it—no—just—just forget it." SeungMin sighs in defeat, pulling away from ChangBin.

"You have no idea what I do and don't get." ChangBin mumbles, allowing the younger to escape. He won't hold him back—there's no point. Nothing ChangBin can say or do will change anything. SeungMin has to face Chan. He has to confront him and let it all out. That's the only way he'll actually get to move forward. It's something ChangBin's never been able to do.

———————

Chan groans softly, rubbing at his temples as his phone rings over and over again on the nightstand next to him. With a yawn, he shifts his arm out from under EunHye to grab his phone.

"Mhm?" Chan hums, allowing his eyes to fall shut again as he trails his fingers up and down EunHye's arm.

"Channie—can—can we talk? I—I know you're with Hye—I know you don't like us calling—I just—I can't do it anymore." SeungMin's sniffles make Chan grow a bit panicked. He delicately slips out from under EunHye before climbing out of bed.

"What's going on, Seung? Talk to me." Chan steps out of the bedroom and closes the door before falling down on the couch. He stares out at the brightly lit city still full of life despite the stars hanging high in the sky.

"I don't know what to do—no matter how hard I try—I can't help it—I love her, Channie—I love her so goddamn much. I don't wanna make you mad. I don't wanna make you on edge around me—but I can't help it. The others aren't helping. They're making it worse. I'm dying. I'm having such a hard time just trying to think straight." SeungMin rambles, his tears falling harder the more he says.

"Seung, breathe. I don't get it. Why are you trying to get over it so fast? Your feelings aren't just gonna go away. I know that. I know that it's something I'm going to have to accept. I don't expect you to get over her. I really don't. All I ask is that you give me a chance to see what she wants. I just want you to trust me to take care of her when she's with me. I don't want you to try and avoid her. I don't want you to try and avoid me. I want my old Seung back. The one who just lived his life. My savage little puppy." Chan does his best to try and talk SeungMin down from his emotional ledge.