spiderman angst/sickfic oneshots

panic (iron man)

"How often have you been having panic attacks?" Pepper asked, concern clear cut in her voice.

"Every once in a while. I had one- yesterday down in the workshop. I had one- oh I had one with Rhodey down at the grill." His tone had taken back on it's usual, casual confidence, but he didn't pull away from his spot in Pepper's lap.

"I can arrange a therapist to-" she started, but he interupted, finally shifting off her shoulder and back on top of the knot of sheets he'd made.

"No I don't need a therapist. I'm Tony fucking Stark." He pouted, trying to be normal again. To feel normal again.

But he had lines of stress by his eyes and dark circles tattooed underneath. His face was stained a shade of white paler than his usual complexion.

"Fine, Tony. Let me know if there's any other way you can think of to resolve this." She said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at his false cockiness. Mental illness didn't rest for anyone, not even genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist: Tony Stark.

"Time. Time will fix it, it's fine. It'll be fine." He answered.

It was not fine.
His next significant panic attacks was in The Middle Of Nowhere, Tennessee.

He pulled his car over on the side of the road, fully hyperventilating. He hung up on the kid he was on the phone with and called Pepper instead, praying she would pick up, knowing full well he wasn't calling from his own phone number and that the whole world thought he was dead right now.

And then her voice flickered over the car speaker.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Pepper, It's Tony." He said, gasping afterwards, his head pounding and his heartbeat so loud in his ears and impactful in his chest it drowned out nearly everything else.

"This isn't funny. How did you get my number?"

"No no- don't leave." He cried, knowing she would hang up. When had he started crying? It didn't matter, "just- can- I can't. god, not again." He said, realizing full well he was in too deep to stop it at this point. He opened his car door and  clung to the wall.

"If it really is you then you'll remember what you said the last time you had a panic attack." She said, calm on the surface, but her voice was trembling with an unidentified emotion. Fear, sadness, or hope, he couldn't tell.

"I'm Tony fucking Stark I don't need a therapist!" He yelled into the car after a moment, "just talk to me I can't breathe. My chest hurts." He wheezed, sliding down against the side of the car.

"You're alive. Tony where are you? Where are you I can send help."

"Im- I don't know. Tennessee somewhere. Accidentally-" he gasped, "set the-" his breath hitched and he leaned over to dry heave, a hand going down to support him as he gagged on air.

"Tony? Tony? Talk to me, talk to me, Hun."

He coughed again over the ground, feeling saliva puddle in his mouth.

"God I'm gonna throw up." He mumbled before dry heaving again, his heart racing, his chest aching. He thought he was dying. He was really having a heart attack this time, the magnet had stopped working, and he was dying. The shrapnel was in his blood, penetrating his heart, and his time had come. Black was beginning to invade his sight. It was all over. The great Tony Stark, Ironman, would die from a heart attack in the middle of nowhere Tennessee with no one but his girlfriend on the phone knowing he was ever alive after the Mandarin incident in the first place.

"Tony listen to me. Breathe in for four, hold it for four, and breathe out for four. Do it with me, in 2 3 4. Hold, 2 3 4, out 2 3 4." She coached from over the phone.

He followed as best he could. In for four. Hold for four. Out for four.

Again and again.

"Tony?" Pepper called out shakily after a couple rounds of that, "you there?"

"I'm here, Pep. Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you." He said, his whole body still trembling as he pulled himself back into the stolen car.

"Great. Now Jesus Christ where have you been the whole world thinks that YOU ARE DEAD." She yelled into the phone.

Tony couldn't help but sigh in relief that his girlfriend was okay. His whole body was relaxed and tired and he just felt like taking a nap.

"I'm saving the world. I'll be home soon, don't worry." He said.

And with that he was off. Off to save the world.