*December 24*
Uh, I don't know how to start. Halo-halo ang naramdaman ko nung time na 'to. At 3 o'clock, I decided to message him. Wala lang, bida-bida ako eh.
Akala ko rin ay wala na siya sa account na 'yon kaya wala na akong masyadong pake kung i-spam ko siya or hindi. But of course, I was wrong.
About an hour later, he replied, greeting me an advance merry christmas.
I greeted him back and heart niya lang 'yung message ko.
Okay.
*7:20 p.m*
Minessage ko ulit siya, wala eh, kulang ako sa aruga. Charizz.
Kinamusta ko lang naman siya at dahil sa pangangamusta naming 'yon, humaba ang convo namin.
Naalala ko pa na abot hanggang langit ang kasiyahan ko sa tuwing nakakapagreply siya.
Pero 'yung kasiyahan na 'yon, jusme, parang eroplanong bumagsak.
Our first topic was about him leaving the country to study abroad.
Ang saya haha.
I tried to be as happy and supportive as possible for him but deep inside, sheshh, parang 'yung mood ko nung araw na 'yon, biglang bumagsak.
He then mentioned that he can't stay on that account kasi magiging busy na siya at mapapabayaan ang account niya. Nagsorry rin siya kasi hindi niya nareplyan 'yung ibang messages ko sa kanya na currently, removed na.
But the fact that he's really sincere with his sorry and was trying to prove na may kasalanan siya kahit ako naman ay todo deny na meron, makes my heart wants to explode.
He's really a great guy.
Second topic, nagbibiruan na kami para ma-enlighten 'yung kaninang medyo mabigat na usapan.
May isang part ng convo namin dun ang hindi ko makalimutan eh:
"Anong gusto mong pag-usapan?"
"Your head is probably stuffed with school stuffs so anything will do. Ano bang gusto mo?"
"Ikaw."
"Anong gusto mo nga?"
Sorry guys, double meaning 'yan sa'kin T_T
Assumera tayo for today's video.
Anyways, share ko lang. Next!
Third topic, eto na. Ang exciting part!
He asked me if I still have feelings for him.
ACKKKKKKKKKK.
Tinawanan ko lang po 'yon but later admitted the truth.
Reason ko kung ba't ako umamin ulit is last na pag-uusap na rin naman namin kaya okay lang mapahiya.
He then admitted na namiss niya daw ako.
Please, sasabog na'ko sa tuwa T_T
He told me na sabihin ko na daw sa kanya lahat ng nararamdaman ko, kung meron pa rin.
At dahil uto-uto ako, ginawa ko.
I even said, na hindi siya ganun kahirap mahalin kaya ayan nahulog ng todo ang loka.
Fourth topic, let's have a bit of a comparisson here.
I brought up the topic again kung totoo ba ang mga ilys niya sa akin nung kami pa.
But this time, his answer was different.
"It's true, I loved you"
Okay na sana eh kaso past tense, guys!
"I loved you"
"Back then"
"But I didn't pursued you"
Those were the exact words he said.
Ang saya (2x)
Siniguro ko pa kung hindi siya nagloloko and he isn't.
And then, na-speechless na ang loko. Hindi niya na daw alam kung anong sasabihin.
He admired me for being brave of telling my feelings.
"I'm willing to take so much risk eh. Sabi nga nila, take it or leave it."
Talaga ba, self?
That convo that was so emotionally intense. Like, bruh, first time kong nararanasan 'yon. Hindi ko na nga kilala ang sarili ko nung gabing 'yon kasi I'm not usually like that, 'yung tipong masyadong open sa iba.
Nah, my pride would never. Pero nung gabing 'yon, wala.. talo 'yung pride.
And here comes the part where we have to say our goodbyes.
"Bye! Have a blessed tomorrow, you always have big place in my heart. Always."
"And you always have a place in my life, love."
Oh pak, may paganyan pa!
*December 25*
We greeted each other.
*January 1*
Nauna siyang mag-greet.
Wala akong balak mag-greet tbh, kasi 'yon nga, sabi niya ay aalis na siya by January. Aba'y malay ko ba kung anong date.
*January 15*
He said his final goodbye.
"This is my goodbye (name), thank you so much for loving me. I will not forget how a best person you are. Magpapaalam lang ako, Goodbye my (name)."
The End?
