Sylvia Sherwood x Fem!reader (spy x family fanfic)

Chapter 5: let you down

Y/n's POV

The next morning rolled around when I woke up alone without Victoria which left me disappointed but I didn't let it bother me, that's when I noticed a note beside me

So I sat up and picked up the note which read

Y/n

I'm sorry for leaving you but I had to go to work, I promise I'll come by when I'm free

Sincerely yours, Victoria❤

I blushed at the end of the note but quickly regained my composure as I got up and put the note in a drawer, did she write that on purpose? Or was it my imagination, regardless I appreciate the thought and accepted her apology, I knew she had a job to do to keep herself busy.

I took a shower and changed my clothes afterwards to make myself stop thinking about her but I couldn't help but think about her when she looked so hot, she made me feel these things without even trying.

A few months later

As I did my usual routine I still found myself thinking back to the time when we last saw each other how she looked at me with her blue eyes, how her hair flowed through the wind, my thoughts became overwhelming to the point where I decided to go outside and take a walk around the streets to clear my head.

I continued walking until I walked pass the cemetery and heard sobbing....loud enough for me to recognize who it belonged to.

Sylvia's POV

After my work was done I decide to stop by a flower shop to buy some flowers for my daughter's grave... honestly thinking about her reminded me why I wanted to stop this war from breaking out in the first place and why I became so cold to the people around me, I just didn't have time to process my grief, it overwhelmed me to the point where I would shut my brain down for thinking about those thoughts, I didn't want to cry and waste tears on dwelling about what could have happened and what my life would be like if I didn't lose my daughter and husband...

"Miss, are you alright?" An employee asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Mhm, yeah sorry I was lost in my thoughts" I replied in a cold and monotone voice.

Then I went ahead and paid for the flowers and exited the shop to head for the cementry...

Once I arrived I walked around a bit to calm myself , all these years I hadn't had a single thought about Lillian but why now?

As I reached my daughter's grave it had started to rain and I could barely prevent myself from crying because.....I've let her down by not protecting her.

I could've prevented her death if it weren't for me not being there. I could have....

My thoughts trailed off and I fell on my knees as tears started to fall from my cheeks like a waterfall, I started remembering memories and flashbacks of the times when Lillian was still alive.

"I'm sorry Lillian, I should have protected you, I should have been there to save you, I should have been the one who died, I'm sorry I let you down" I started blaming myself to no end until I heard a voice behind me.

"Mom, it's not your fault that I died...stop blaming yourself, I never once blamed you for my death, I think it's time for you to move on and set your heartache free" I heard Lillian say, was I dreaming or was I imagining things?

I couldn't say anything and continued to sob until there were no tears left to cry, I didn't care if it was raining or not I just sobbed and cried, the pain that I was experiencing was undescribable I just blamed myself for everything that happened, I'm just tired of being sad.