hollywood dropout | lil peep

XI

i stepped out of the uber to the address i was given. i took out my phone to let peep, gus, know i was here.

mercedeskerr
hey i'm here. outside out front

lilpeep
i'll come find u in a minute hang tight

ryan and giovanna looked at me, waiting to see what the next move was. "you guys can go. he's coming out, i'll catch up with you later" i told them. "okay" they both shrugged and walked off.

a lot was happening right now, i was trying to comprehend that an almost lifelong friend was no longer in my life, and she was also sleeping with my ex. and you know, cal is my ex and freshly broken up with. now i have a basically stranger of a man on his way to come meet me. i'm a bit of a mess.

"mercedes?" i snapped out of it. he stood right there, tall, pretty brown eyes even though it was dark, pink and black hair. "hey" i said. hey? that's the best i could do? "hey, nice to see you officially i'm gus" he introduced himself. "i know" i said, "i couldn't miss you in a crowd, hey is everything okay?" he asked.

damn, was i really that deep in my thoughts. "no actually. i'm extremely not okay but that's okay. let's go get a drink. a shot, maybe a few shots" i said, grabbing his hand heading towards the party. "charming introduction, hey do you wanna talk about it or something? maybe not the best place but i'm a good listener" he offered.

"that's really nice but no, unless i get a few drinks into me that answer might change" i told him. wow i was really blowing this. maybe it wasn't time for a new guy anyways.

"so, tell me about you, something anything really, please just talk" i told him. i put back 3, or maybe it was 4 shots in a row. i needed to loosen up and also cope with everything. "why don't i bring you up to my room for a bit?" he asked. "god damn, trying to take my pants off already?" i asked him.

"oh no, sorry god i didn't mean it like that. i think you just need to be away from this for a minute you seem very tense" he told me. "okay then" i told him, putting back another shot.

he helped me climb up the stairs, neither of us exactly sober. "did you come by yourself?" he asked. "no my friends came with me" i told him. "oh right, ryan and giovanna, and uh, the one who's a bitch now and no one likes, lauren?" he asked. "laurel" i corrected "and she's not here" i said bluntly.

"i almost remembered, i guess you guys really don't like her" he laughed. "we're not friends anymore. that's part of what's wrong. can i get another drink?" i asked. "i think you should maybe slow down, but i guess that explains why you're a little on edge" he said.

"it ended for good right before i came here. we threw her out of the house. she was a bitch, she was sleeping with my ex while we were still together and then after we broke up. and then i caught her red handed being dropped off in his car" uh oh. here it goes. drunk verbal diarrhea. "so i was being cheated on my by ex and my friends really" i kept going.

"damn that really sucks, are you okay?" he asked me  "do i seem okay?" i asked. "i know stupid question".

"i should probably get going. sorry you thought i was just some hot girl off of instagram and now i'm drunkenly spilling all my problems to you on your bedroom floor the first time we're meeting. i'm sorry hopefully neither of us will remember much of this" i laughed.

i laughed and then there was a little crack in my voice , the crack turned to tears and then i was crying. oh my god mercedes you're just making this worse and worse for yourself.

"hey don't apologize, that's a fuck ton of bad stuff to find out about and then drinking right after? it's okay" gus told me. "i'm sorry" i sobbed, i was full blown drunken sobbing in a strangers bedroom.

gus helped us back down to seated positions on the floor, he put an arm around me, half hugging me. "hey it'll be alright. she was a loser. he was a loser. plus i'm here now, you aren't gonna scare me off that easily pretty girl" he said, hugging me tighter.

i let myself go. i went limp in his arms and started to cry while he held me. this is the single most embarrassing moment of my life and i just keep making it worse.