Loving from afar - JJPope

19

Anxiety was high in Pope's chest. Legs bouncing underneath the table and hands thrumming against it, creating a rhythm to try and ease the racing of his heart. The coffee shop is relatively quiet, which was unusual in itself, however, Pope found he rather preferred the quiet over the boisterous atmosphere that was usually around at this time of day.

He had shown up twenty minutes early in fear of being late, in hindsight making him look like an absolute idiot waltzing inside and asking to wait until someone arrived to order his drink, but that didn't matter. It was better to be early than late. Even if he had to wait.

With all of this time he had before Tilly arrived, Pope found himself lost in thought, overlooking the quiet town through the glass. How he had managed to sum up enough courage to ask the stunning girl out on a date, Pope hadn't a clue. He was even more shocked when she said yes.

In his mind, if JJ did not love him the way that Pope loved JJ, then nobody would. So hearing that simple word, yes, a gear in Pope's mind changed. Had his heart leaping in the back of his throat and breath catching.

It was late afternoon, a Wednesday, and everyone from the study group but Tilly and Pope were gone, no trace nor sight of them anywhere. It was silent, comfortably so, and Pope could feel his heart threatening to leap from his chest and onto the book before him.

All night, he had been trying to sum up enough courage to ask the girl that easy fucking question, but it never seemed to be the right time. Someone would get up and talk with Tilly, or the side of Pope's brain that didn't like the idea of moving on from JJ would scream at him to not make a sound, and he would listen. For years, Pope has been in love with the one boy he knew he would never have, and it was time he moved on. No matter what.

"This is your big chance," Cleo's voice echoes around his mind. "Take it. You want to move on from JJ? You have to do it now. You've got this."

I've got this. Pope thinks to himself, sucking in a deep breath and turning to the girl who still had her nose in a book, glasses sliding down the bridge of her nose. "Tilly?" Whispers Pope, stunning himself at just how small and quiet he sounded.

Tilly looks up, a shy smile painting her lips as she places the book down to keep her page. "Yeah?"

Clearing his throat, Pope closes his eyes for a moment or two before opening them once more. "Would you like to go on a date with me sometime?" It comes out rushed, panicky, but Tilly still seems to have understood the words flying from the males mouth.

Her eyes are doe wide, just like JJ's would be anytime Pope spoke, and a blush tints her freckled cheeks. "You- you want to take me on a date?"

"Yeah.. yes. Yes." Pope stammers. "Yes."

"Yes." Echoes Tilly, grinning widely. Pope's heart stutters. "Yes, I'll go on a date with you."

As sad as he was at the thought of pushing his feelings for JJ aside, Pope was excited at what was to come. This was his step forward to moving on, and he would stop at nothing until it worked.

Tilly is walking towards the coffee shop door all of a sudden, and Pope can feel his cheeks flushing at the sight of her. Flowy, cream pants and a bright coloured sweater vest covers pale skin, along with white boots and her hair tied back messily with a claw clip. Pope couldn't help but stare. Wow.

"Hi." Tilly greets, all shy smiles and jittering with nerves.

Pope mirrors the expression. "Hi."

******

JJ needed out. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take the abuse, the constant crying, fear and panic attacks. Couldn't take the night terrors, the inability to get in the shower without feeling like Topper was right there with him, suffocating him and holding him underneath the pressure of the water. He couldn't take the thoughts of downing a bottle of pills and beer to end it all for good. He just couldn't.