Loving from afar - JJPope

18

"Morning," breathes Pope, his voice soft with a small edge to it at the corners, still filled with sleep. JJ's hair is pressed against his mouth, muffling the words, but even with his face hidden, Pope knows that JJ is awake. "I hope you didn't mind me climbing into bed with you."

Slowly, JJ lifts his head, their noses just barely brushing, a tint colouring his cheeks. Pope tries to mistaken it for the warmth in the room, but even he couldn't deny the heat on his own cheeks at their close proximity. "Morning." JJ whispers, sitting up and combing a hand through his hair. He yawns, stifling it behind his hand, and stretches. "Not at all. Sorry for.. rolling onto you."

Pope blinks once, then twice, then three times. "Oh, no no, it's okay." It comes out in a stuttering mess, Pope's hand fumbling with the duvet.

Flicking his eyes up to meet JJ's once more, Pope feels the breath catch in the back of his throat, hitching, his hazel eyes widening at bright sparkling baby blues staring right back at him. God, JJ was so beautiful. He wants to tell him, almost does, but stops himself with the shake of his head. He was meant to be moving on. Not swooning all over again.

"Pope, you good?" The sudden voice of Kiara is speaking, waving a hand in front of his face.

Blinking, Pope nods, clearing his throat. "Uh, yeah, yeah, sorry."

"Let me guess, you were thinking about your day with JJ again." Teases Cleo, wiggling their eyebrows in that same way Pope hated. He groans, dropping his head back, and the two people across from him laugh. He just drowns them out.

Pope knows he should move on, it's what was the healthiest option, but he just can't seem to get his mind off of the day he had spent with JJ. And to be honest, he didn't want to.

"Something could be there, then." Cleo is saying, knocking Pope from his thoughts. "His younger sister trusts you. You read her a bedtime story! You woke up to JJ cuddled into your chest! That's got to mean something."

Sighing softly, sadly, Pope shrugs. Yes, Maisie trusts him. Yes, he read her a bedtime story. And yes, when he moved from Maisie's room to JJ's, he woke up to him cuddled against his chest. But that couldn't matter. It just couldn't. He had to move on, no matter how deeply he didn't want to. No matter how badly it hurt him to. He had to. "I need to move on, Cleo." He mumbles, disheartened. "He's still in love with Topper. I need to push my feelings aside and just.. forget them."

Cleo's face falls. "What about your ten year plan?"

"What about it?" Mutters Pope, sounding far more snappy than he meant to.

"You're just going to forget it?" They urge.

Pope shrugs, disheartened. "I don't know. I just need to move on, okay? So, no more JJ talk. No more ideas. Nothing. Okay? I can't."

Cleo doesn't respond. Just gives a small nod of their head and refocuses their attention on Kiara beside them, wearing that exact expression as Cleo. Pope ignores them. He knows what they were both thinking. Of course he does. But he can't bring himself to acknowledge it just yet.

He thinks back to earlier this week. Seated in the library, books upon books splurging in front of him. Pope was waiting for JJ, had been for the past 20 edging on 30 minutes, and he was growing impatient. A girl in their year group had approached him then, beautiful and shy, shifting on her feet, and had asked about him joining her study group.

Pope had been shocked to pure silence, before remembering his words and politely declining. The girl had seemed disappointed, sad even, but had pulled on a soft smile and nodded, walking away with heavy steps. JJ had arrived just as she did so, and surprisingly, pope had been distracted.