Dream Boy // Hyunjin

2 // my safe space

Tw: panic attack

~ Hyunjins POV ~

"I'm off!" I yell through the dorms to which I get lots of ok, bye and have a good time from the boys. Bangchan sticks his head out in the entrance with his headphones on and asks "you sure you wanna go alone? The bodyguard can go with you... yk if the sasaeng is after you again?". He has a point, but I need some time alone, in my own world.

"Nah she followed me yesterday but I think our manager got rid of her." I said, hoping I was right. Bangchan looked worried but quickly shook it off and made his way back to his room with one last note "just call me if she's still after you!". I nodded as I closed the door behind me. I turned on my music in my headphones as I made my way to the art studio.

I walked slowly through the crowd and tried not to make eye contact with people to make sure nobody would recognise me. Being a part of Stary kids has its pros and cons. I get to make music and dancing a career and I have lots of lovely fans I would do everything for, but I also can't get any free space, not even when walking on the street.

The flowers are on the nip of blooming and I decided I would take some pictures. *click* . "Pretty" I murmur . I look around and in the crowd, a girl catches my eyes. She's beautiful. Hypnotic almost. Shes standing still and admiring the world around her it seems. It's weird how weird it feels to see a person standing still for a moment in such a busy city where everything moves. Like a fresh breath of calmness in a chaotic world.

She takes out a notebook it seems with a name on the outside "Su.. Susu" I read as good as I can from the distance. The world is busy but our world is calm. She looks around and laughs a little which, as much as I would hate to admit, makes me me smile too.

I slowly takes my phone up and points it at her. *click*. "Mesmerising" I mumble.

I get pulled out of the trance by a boy in school uniform and bandages around his hand and patches on his cheeks. "Hyunjin what are you doing here?" He asks rather bluntly. His friend is looking at me with big eyes.

"Hey Aiko, I'm just on my way to art studio" I answer while moving my attention to where the now disappeared girl once stood. I sigh and feel Aiko eyes on me. I shake my head. While turning my attention back to Aiko "So what are you doing here and why are you all bruised up? The company isn't gonna like that haha" I said while Aiko scowled at me.

"I'm on my way to the company to train. And even if they don't like me getting bruised, I'm their best trainee. And it's just because some guys at the school was bothering some of the students, I couldn't just stand back and watch!?" He outburst. I nodded understanding and realised I was already late for art session. I rushed the rest of the way home to the studio.

Painting and drawing have always been a way for me to cope with negative feelings. Sometimes the negative feelings take over and I once had to go on hiatus just to get ok. I don't have much time for art, but the company agreed to let me go to these art sessions sometimes when I need time to heal.

It's been hard lately, both to cope and also to find time for art. The other members always tries their best to cheer me up, but lately it's just been worse than usually. I really need this art session.

Ms. Kim have always welcomed me warmly. She gives me a place to feel peace. She also makes sure nobody takes pictures or share unwanted information.

I make it to the studio and hang my jacket before entering the room. My gaze falls over the attendants who have already begun drawing. Then... that girl, Susu. Our eyes meets and I feel the calmness again. Our little dream world surrounds us. I know she feels it too. Does she recognise me? Does she know who I am? I can't explain why, but I have the feeling that she doesn't know me.

I long for more time to just be in this moment, but ms. Kim's voice break the contact "Hyunjin you're late, take a seat please.". I take the seat besides her and pull out my drawing stuff before beginning. I can feel her eyes on me. Usually I feel uncomfortable when people analyse me like this, since I'm being watched all the time. I can't be anywhere without people watching, but when it's her, it's ok.

The session is over and I pack my stuff. I don't want to leave her to be honest, but I have schedule back at the company soon. On top of that, I can't let myself get too attached. I'm an idol. A love scandal can ruin your career. But I can't resist giving her a last look while she's packing her stuff before leaving the building.

When I get outside I suddenly hears a *click click click*. I turn fast enough to see a girl grappling my arm. In defence I pull my arm back and get a look at the girl who have been following me around. The sasaeng.

"Baby I have missed you, you know you can't get rid of me even if you try haha"  she laughs trying to grasp me again, but I step back. "I have told you to leave, so please stop following me". I say rather harshly. Making her get water drops in her eyes.

"Babyyyy why do you hurt me like this. I know you want me. You seemed fine with me being with you last night!" She wined with a pout. I opened my eyes wide as I felt the panic rush through my veins. Shit panick attack on the way.

"What do you mean last night?..." I ask out of breath on the nip of closing down. She pulls out her phone and shows me some pictures... of me... sleeping... in my own bed. I begin hyperventilating. She have been in my house at night taking pictures of me sleeping.

"DELETE THOSE PICTURES NOW." I yell at her trying to reach her phone. Shit shit shit.

She shakes her head while crying "noooo baby they are so cuteeeee please no!". She hold the phone away from my reach, but I won't let her keep those pictures. I need to get away from here. Now. I panic and grab her phone throwing it onto the floor making it break. She gasps loudly and I turn my back and storm away.

I find a little alley where I fall to my knees and close my eyes. "Breath breath breath breath" I quickly mumble to myself before sharply inhaling an unhealthy amount of air. My hands are shaking and I can't feel still. My whole body is screaming. I slowly slow down my breath. I dig my nails into my fist and leave small scars.

But then I remember Susu. I try my hardest to focus on the warm feeling rolling over me. It's stupid but she's like a plane. Shes taking me over the dark clouds, up to the warm sunlight.
.
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"Who is she?"