Our Kiddo

I'm really disappointed in you

Leah leant on the side, trying to take breaths and calm herself down. She'd just got herself under control when a pair of little arms wrapped around her waist.

"I'm not angry at you," Evie said quietly. Leah turned around and hugged her back. The tears were flowing again as she held onto her best mate.

"Kiddo I'm so sorry. I never meant to scare you. You shouldn't feel like that ever again. This house should be safe. I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't worry about it. It's not your fault. I need to let stuff go. I'm safe now. I know I am. You've always made that clear."

They were both crying now as they hugged. At that moment it wasn't clear who needed the other more.

"I'm sorry for saying you told them. I don't think you did. I'm so scared. Why do people know? What do I do now?"

"You don't have to do anything. This is your story to tell and if you aren't ready yet then you don't have to speak about it," Leah reassured her.

"Really?" Evie asked, looking up with shiny eyes.

"Really."

***

Amanda had stayed in her room while the two of them sorted everything out. She was so cross with her daughter. A little knock on her door brought her out of her thoughts.

"Who is it?"

"Evie."

"Come in sweetheart."

Evie came in sheepishly. She never spoke to adults in the way she was about to.

"D-don't be angry at Leah. It wasn't her fault. She's your daughter. Please don't be angry," Evie said. Her voice was shaky with nerves.

"She shouldn't have scared you."

"It was an accident. I was the one who got scared. It was stupid. I started the argument. I should've taken her reaction."

"Evie. It isn't always your fault. You can allow other people to take the blame. Leah scared you. That's a fact. Look I'm not angry anymore. She apologised. The situation is sorted but please, please don't blame yourself for everything," Amanda said.

"But-"

"But nothing sweetie. It's not your fault."

They fell into a silence.

"What are you going to do about the article?"

"I don't know," Evie said truthfully. She couldn't just ignore it, could she?

"Well what do you want to do?"

"Ignore it. That's what Leah said. Do you think that's a good idea?"

"If you want to ignore it, then that's what you shall do."

***

The three of them were sat eating dinner later that night. Evie was poking her food around the plate. She couldn't eat. Her body didn't deserve it. Maybe it would be best if she never ate again, slowly fading away until one day...

She couldn't take it and stood up from her seat before quickly running upstairs. Amanda and Leah had been passing conversation when she ran, both of them were taken a back and quickly followed after her.

"Kiddo?" Leah called, wanting desperately to make sure she was okay. They heard a door slam and muffled cries escaping through it.

"Evie, sweetie, are you okay?" Amanda asked gently as she knocked on the door.

"Go away," the little girls croaky voice responded.

"We just want to help," Leah said. There was no reply and they took that as permission to enter. She was curled up in a tight ball on her bed, gently rocking backwards and forwards.

"What's up?" Leah asked as she sat next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. Amanda did the same on the other side and soon enough Evie was tight in the comfort of their embrace.

"Everything is going to be alright. I know it's all overwhelming at the moment but things will calm down. No one will hurt you. I won't let them," Leah whispered reassuringly. Evie nodded but her eyes were still wide with panic.

"I can't eat. I really can't eat. It's too much. I feel sick. My body doesn't deserve it," she said, looking between them both, her expression wild, clearly not in the right head space.

"Your body deserves food. I know it's daunting but you need to eat," Amanda said.

"I know. I know," Evie responded, still rocking gently. They stayed quiet, giving her time to calm down.

"I can't do it today though. It's too much. It's way too much," the small girl said after a little while.

"That's alright. You're doing the best you can right now and that's okay," Leah told her. Evie nodded. She wanted to believe her but it was hard.

Maybe she was overreacting? Maybe she needed to grow up and stop fussing all the time? Maybe she was just being silly?

"Your feelings are important. Nothing that you feel is a big deal is silly, okay? Make sure you speak about what's going on. Talking helps," Amanda said as if she could read her mind.

***

Jamie had sent a text the next morning, confirming Evie's suspicions.

J: I'm so sorry. I've read the article. I may have let it slip. I feel like shit. Please can we talk?

E: Yea we need to meet. I'll meet you at the park gates at 2

Leah thought that Evie was suspiciously calm. She was about to speak to her brother about him sharing her sexual assault story and her she was eating an omelette and talking about plans to meet up with some of the Arsenal girls the next day.

"You're alright, aren't you kiddo?" Leah asked.

"Yeah," Evie responded with a little smile. Maybe she was alright.

"You're going to be okay seeing Jamie by yourself?"

"Yeah. I know what I'm going to say."

It was 2 o clock and Evie could already spot Jamie as she approached the park gates. He really must be sorry if he'd made an effort to be on time.

"I'm sorry," were his first words. Evie didn't say anything and she began to walk, Jamie right by her, praying that she would forgive him.

"You know what. I'm not happy that it's out. I ain't ready to share my story yet but maybe, just maybe, this might be better in the long run. It's out there now and when I am ready, people will know," Evie said after a minute of silence.

"What? You aren't angry?" Jamie asked, shocked that it was this easy.

"Furious. But you're my brother. And I love you," Evie said, stopping and facing him. A small smile broke onto his face and he pulled her into a hug.

"I didn't mean to say anything. It was after the Chelsea game. The reporter had seen me hugging you after and I just told her how amazing you were because of everything you'd overcome. That's when I let it slip. I'm sorry E. I'm so so sorry," Jamie apologised.

"God you're turning into a softy," Evie laughed.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Oh no. I like Jamie the softy. Makes me the tougher one," Evie teased him.

"You were always the tougher one," he told her.

***

A/N: Get in! Chelsea at the top of the table with a game in hand. The goal was a beauty as well