But I Won't Give Up Without A Fight

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"It's very nice to meet you all, I'm Asteria." They all look at me and back at my hand awkwardly but I don't move. I was told a while ago that my gender would throw off clients until my name was known in the industry. Kenneth is the first to take my hand and he seems very pleasant.

"Kenneth, it's nice to meet you. Judging by the sketchbook I'm assuming you're the artist and not the assistant?" I swallow hard again and appreciate that he at least asked before asking when the artist would be showing up.

"Well, I'm not an assistant, I'm an intern. But that's correct, I am the artist." The production manager stops talking instantly and hangs up the phone.

"Louis Greenwald, nice to meet you." He comes to shake my hand but I can't help but give him a stern look and shake his harder than I did Kenneth's. The others introduce themselves to me, but Brendon seems to do so in a very closed off manner. I'm probably just incredibly intimidated.

"So if it's alright with all of you, could you tell me the mood that the single evokes?" I ask as I take a seat, click my pen, and get ready to take notes on what they have to say. They all look back at me, unsure and confused. "You see, when I try to create an artwork for someone else I first want to know what they want people to feel from it. I want to know what they want others to feel when they see it. I want to know what they themselves were feeling when they got the idea."

Dallon gives me a small smirk and glances over at Brendon. He whispers something to him and I can't help but shift uncomfortably in my seat. This isn't how I thought this would go at all. Brendon lets out a small laugh and shakes his head and at this point I'm very uncomfortable.

"Is there a problem?" I ask in the most polite tone I can muster up. Kenneth smiles and looks at the others.

"We're really sorry, Astrid but could you give us a second alone?"

"It's Asteria. I'll be outside." I grab my coffee mug and step outside, incredibly irritated. I'm not sure if I'm more angry that this isn't going how I wanted or that this isn't going well in general. As I shut the door behind me I hear who I'm assuming is Daniel speak.

"She looks young, are you sure we should have gone with her?"

I feel my brow furrow at the fact that my appearance is what's throwing them off despite my efforts to look as professional as possible. I decide to head to the lunch room and grab a pastry to accompany my coffee because I'd rather not hear everything else they have to say. At the far end of the room there are a few cinnamon rolls and I grab two for the sake of my emotions. As I'm starting the second one, he walks in. I stop chewing when I see him and start again as soon as I realize I'm staring. I look down at the napkin I served myself on, no longer having the courage to try to communicate first. After what happened in there I'm ready to go home, curl up in a blanket, and skip class to watch reruns of anything on Netflix. He sits directly next to me with a cinnamon roll of his own.

"Do you always just sit and eat on the job?" he asks. At first I'm offended but when I look up at him he's smiling, cheek stuffed with a bite of his pastry. I return the smile and look back down at my napkin. I can't put my finger on him and I'm trying to figure out if he's nice and just joking, or joking and just an asshole.

"I'm...I know that I'm young...But I created everything in the portfolio you all saw," I manage to mumble. He stops chewing and pushes his hair back before speaking.

"You do realize that you look 16?"

"Did you need to see an ID?" I snap. I've never had this kind of situation with any client and I worry that this is what it'll be like for every client I have in this industry that has made it to radio. I expect him to be angry or offended but he just laughs.

"I think we'd be less nervous around you if you weren't so pretty." I feel my face turn red and try to hide it with the fake hair on top of my head. "When you're done slacking off on the job we'll be waiting in the room for you. We're impressed by your portfolio no matter how old you are."

He winks at me and starts to walk out. I huff and follow after him, carrying my pastry with me. At this point I want the meeting to be over with. When I take my seat again I grab my pen and notepad, hoping this will go better now that they've decided that I might actually be worthy of this job. I know I got lucky with it but I wish they'd stop reminding me.

"So, you see Astrid-"

"It's Asteria," Kenneth says in a mocking tone.

"Asteria. We've been discussing the contents of the cover for the single. We'd like for it to have an element of mystery and loneliness."

I write the words down as he continues.

"Why don't we just let her listen to it?" My ears perk up and I'm shocked to hear that it was Brendon's suggestion. Dallon and Kenneth nod in agreement and Daniel shrugs.

"Brendon, should she hear the single and-"

"She's not going to memorize it note for note and sell it to somebody! Let's just show it to her," he says as he pulls out his phone. After a few moments the sounds of sweet synthesizers and slow but heavy drums fill the room. I close my eyes and hope that the excitement I'm feeling again doesn't interfere with the mood of the song.

I begin to write words on my notepad: the smell before rain, the feeling of not being able to kiss goodbye, sleeping alone, falling for the first time, longing for someone, looking at the night sky alone. I feel them trying to read what I've written and the song fades away into the silent room.

"It's beautiful," I tell them. Brendon looks at me as though he'd like to say something but chooses not to and looks at the floor, biting his lip. "Are you all...Um. Are you all okay with me drawing up some sketches for you right now?"

Louis nods and I grab my sketchbook and pencil. I begin drawing quickly. There are various images of hands reaching, a head looking up at the night sky, a dark room, and other things that make me think of the words on my paper.

"Is there a way that you could maybe do everything in these sketches?" Daniel asks. I look up at him and nod.

"Sure give me one second," I reply shyly, surprised by the change in dynamic in the room. I begin to let my mind wander into my doodles while they watch, creating each mood as it comes to mind.


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