THE NOTION OF DESPAIR

chapter 2

Olivia POV:

Do you want to grab something Hun? Mother asked me while caressing the cheeks slightly and I nodded and grinned like a toddler

"Come let's go and have something delicious before your father drags us the other part of the city" she giggled while pushing me to the exit way of the cinema. "Mother?" she hummed in response without looking at me "can we drop by MAC D? And have mac flurry and tacos? I am suddenly craving for it" she said okay "actually I am having craving for it too let's gooooo girl" she said smiling and I nodded again

On the way to mac d the ride was silent and I enjoyed the scenario we stopped at mac Donald and ordered the food and it took around 10-15 minutes to arrive our food. And I quickly digged in

Hun? Let's go back mmh? Otherwise your father will hunt us down and I giggled a bit and nodded

"I don't care where are they have been missing since 2 hours and I don't care just find th-, never mind they are here" my father ended the call with I guess sheriff. He straddled with long steps covering the 2 steps at a time and hugged us both crushing.

"Dad relax we just went to grab tacos and macflurry" I said a bit nervous and wondering what would have happened if we didn't returned when we did

He just nodded he just did this all the time when he is worried he shuts himself off completely and I frown at thinking of it "go to your room now" he ordered me and I gave a questioning look to mom and she nodded and I nodded back and went to my room closing the door

"Hey there" a voice called from behind and I almost screamed in my defence but then I looked it was my stupid cousin Jackson I huffed "what the hell?" I whisper yelled at my stupid ass brother who almost gave me a cardiac arrest. He just stood there and chuckled and shook his head "you know you are so easy to scare" still chuckling and I groaned and rolled my eyes

He came towards me and ....

I woke up panting and sweating gasping for some air I look around and calmed myself a little you are safe liv you are not in Boston anymore they don't know where you are I looked at the clock on the nightstand and it was 3.45 in the morning well it is good this I got more than 4 hours sleep straight once after... I got up and got down the stairs to the kitchen to fetch some hot milk or water or ice cream but I found only water. I got up after that and laid back on the bed. I have been a patient of insomniac and haven't really slept for straight 4 hours but I guess air plays an important role...

I am wide awake now starring at the celing is so much easy then conveying what is going on in my tiny brain... my mind is mess, I cannot think straight, my vision is blurred maybe because of the tears that are streaming down the cheeks. I gently wiped them one think that mia often tells me to do jolt it down my thoughts but how can I when I live under the constant fear that someone might read what I write secretly what if the person be mia or Xavier or anyone that I know of you don't have anyone except those two you dumb. My subconscious mind screamed at me

I took my phone from the nightstand and scrolled some feed on Instagram and watched some dogs and some recipes.... 52 minutes have passed and still I don't feel like sleeping I have been nightmares for almost 6 years and yes I have been to consultation firms and therapists if you are wondering even took some sleeping pills but got addicted to it due to the side effects and I have to be in rehab centre thank you very much.

*beep... beep.... Beep* I look over the table its 5.45 am and it's still dark, I got up finished my business brushed and I want to put my mind off the track so I change into black sports bra and grey sweat pants and a jacket with neon green sneakers to go.

I jogged a bit I saw time and it is 6.15 and I decided to go back and then when I got back I saw mia smiling at me through the kitchen " hey liv I am making toast wanna have some ?" I nodded "but first I need to clean up I will join you guys shortly"

"Good morning love" Xavi yawned and stretching his arms... I smiled at him and wished him back with a nod.

I am going to do the hardest part... having a shower I sigh left my mouth while entering the bathroom It was almost covered in the fog due to the warm water but somehow it does not make my nerves easy, I gently removed my clothes piece after piece and hands still shaking not wanting to encounter what is awaiting for me to see.

I was standing in the shower a soft sob escaped my lips, wetting my cheeks but it didn't matter the shower was working its way through me I grabbed the bottle of the shampoo it smelled like honey as it hit my nose and it calms me down somewhat. I massaged my scalp and rinse it thoroughly, applying the conditioner at the tips I waited 2 minutes before rinsing it off too.

I grabbed the sponge and took some body wash smelled like strawberries I started washing my body and it stopped at a particular part the right side of the ribs to the waist, I closed my eyes as not wanting to think of the scar that has been permanently carved on my body and not wanting to think that day when my parents dropped me at my cousin's...

The flesh is healed but the scar and mark of the incident still carved on my soul, the sponge fell from the grip taking me by surprise. I inhaled sharply you are stronger than this liv push through said my mind and I nodded I have to be strong for me, I cannot make my self portray week in front of people.

After 45 mins shower I changed in the peach tank top and boyfriend jeans which I find oddly conformable with matching white shoes and matching accessories. Taking my bag I glanced over to the watch and grabbed my phone it's still 7.55 am so there is still time for me to grab some coffee on the way to my office

Hey it's weekend yay!! another chapter only for you guys i have just completed it and i am sorry for not posting on wednesday but yea i did post it 

i love you guys

thankyou for reading!!!