WildFire

33

It really did not help you when Yui found out about the cheek kiss as well.

You had already lost most of your sleep tossing and turning in your bed–occasionally whisper-screaming into your pillow. You weren't sure if it was because of the embarrassment you were feeling, or the fact that you had kissed Kunimi–on the cheek–and liked it.

It wasn't like it was wrong to peck your best friend on the cheek, but it did feel very much wrong when you realized that you had enjoyed that little two seconds more than the first time you had tasted ice cream.

In truth, you were trying very hard not to think or talk about it, but Yui didn't have any qualms.

"First kiss?" she inquired in the homeroom the day after the game, making you flinch in your seat in surprise. She had just thrown it out there, making you draw a very aggressive line across the notes you were taking.

"What?"

"I didn't know you liked Kunimi," Yui commented mindlessly.

She wasn't being loud–Yui hardly ever raised her voice because she just wasn't a boisterous person–but the words that came out of her mouth made more than a couple of eyes fix on them.

You shook your head, uneasy as you saw a few heads turn to stare at the two of you–eyes piercing like hawks. Feeling like you should, you whispered, "I don't like Kunimi in that way."

"But–"

You put a finger to your lips in a rush, successfully silencing Yui. She paused in exasperation as you tilted your head at the students watching you with amusement and more interest that should've been there—wanting to get some interesting gossip.

"But you kissed," Yui said in a hushed down voice. She seemed even more puzzled than you when she added, not very helpfully, "why would you kiss him if you didn't like him?"

"It was a cheek kiss!" you hissed back, ignoring the rising blush in your cheeks. "A totally normal cheek kiss between friends."

"Uh huh."

She did not look very convinced with your story, and to be honest, neither did you. Yui didn't have to know that though. And actually, thinking about it, you suddenly turned to her with a startled look.

"How did you even know about it?" you asked, suddenly feeling very scared. "Stalker."

Yui stared at you, eyes searching, "my brother told me—he has a big mouth."

Big mouth indeed.

"Wait—your brother saw me?" you asked, feeling humiliated that a senior you respected saw you being so dramatic. You wondered dimly if there was a nearby pit or canyon you could crawl into to die. "That's...embarrassing."

"Not just Issei," Yui informed you, making your cheeks grow even hotter with shame. "The whole boys volleyball team–Seijoh. Oikawa, Hanamaki, and the others. Pretty sure a fifth of the school has heard about you as Kunimi's best friend."

"They talk too much," you complained. "And I didn't know Kunimi was popular."

"I'm pretty sure he's popular by association," Yui told you, making you grin crookedly at her, having slight amusement in knowing what she meant even before she said the words. "Oikawa-san is basically the most popular guy in our school–where the volleyball team is practically famous in the Miyagi district."

You laughed, "but seriously, I don't like Kunimi. He's been my best friend since grade school–how could I ever like him romantically?"

Yui shrugged, there was no implication in her words, but her eyes seemed to be exasperated when she said, "Just because you're best friends, why can't you like him in a romantic way? It'd only make sense–since you knew him for so long."

She was right in a sense.

And you knew yourself that you at least felt an attraction towards him.

"But I don't deserve someone like him," you whispered sadly, feeling the invisible weight on your shoulder heavy a little more. You put your hands together, fiddling nervously. "I've hurt him too much in the past. He needs someone better."

"Does he think that?" Yui asked. "Does he think he needs someone better?"

"He must," you said.

Yui sighed, looking down at you with an expression that neared annoyance. Her tone too sounded something more like the one she used with her brother, "Listen, [Name]. I'm not your personal psychiatrist, but even if you think he deserves someone better, why are you lying to yourself? Because you'll be hurt if he finds someone else? In case you didn't know, nothing is certain–that's what makes life life. You're welcome to keep avoiding the hardships you might find, but you're not going to get far if you keep doing that."

You knew she was right.

You had needed courage to go to the volleyball tryouts–despite doubt in your own abilities. You had needed to stamp down your pride on too many occasions, you had gotten hurt on many too. You needed to at least get rejected properly, or else the regret would live with you forever.

You smiled at Yui, "Thank you, Yui."

Even though you weren't one hundred percent sure of your feelings, you were going to confront them with Kunimi. You were going to have to try crossing that bridge at some point in your life–staring aimlessly at it would do no good.

After all, you probably should tell your best friend when you've got a crush.