The Queen's Dilemma

Ch. 19: I Need You...Now

Silence overwhelmed the entire house while Rani removed each piece of cloth. Matt's erratic breaths were the only thing that broke the silence until he spoke.

"Rani?" he croaked.

She didn't stop at just the outerwear. She slipped off her sweater and threw it on the floor next to her coat. Only the bra she left on. "I'm afraid you'd get turned off by this."

A firestorm roared within her chest as she waited for him to speak. It dragged down to her arms and flicked against her face.

The few seconds that passed felt like an hour before he spoke.

"Huh?" The bewilderment that slapped across his face pierced his voice and for a few moments, all he could do was give her an up-and-down look.

All it took was one person looking at her like she shouldn't exist. She didn't want him to feel the same after seeing them.

Better for her to do it now than later and have it hurt more.

"By these!" She pointed out the scars on her waist and breast. "I can't get rid of them. They're all over my right side and they just look so—ugh."

"Beautiful?" he croaked. He trailed a finger against them, tracing every small line and indentation.

"They're not beautiful." They couldn't be. Not when so many people stared at her.

"It's beautiful because it's a part of you, babe. I love it."

Her heart skidded through a few beats before taking off like a rocket. The fire from earlier sparked sore wounds across her face. "Are you sure?"

"Do you really need a visual of how sure I am?" His eyes danced between her own and the spot she rested on, right above his hips. "Because it's ready to go."

"No. No, not yet. I feel dirty from working outside and jumping into that pile."

As if to prove her point, he removed some particles from her hair and blew them onto the floor. "Guess it's time for a shower."

She remembered their last talk about showering and shook her head. "Not together...not today at least."

"That's okay. Do you want to stay over?"

She nodded. "I'll need some clothes though."

He let her use the bathroom first to get through her routine. Warm showers in winter weather were one of the small treats she loved. It came right next to waking up with a warm blanket.

When she stepped into the bedroom, her underwear wasn't seen. The sweatpants he'd given her were soft and reached over her feet, so she was covered everywhere. Especially with his long sleeve shirt.

But it felt weird. Every time she moved, she felt like a creep. The cold tickled her nipples, which stood at attention. She found Matt in the kitchen, taking out some soup and casserole.

Rani asked, "Where'd all my clothes go?"

"I threw them in the washer. Both of our stuff was dirty and I already had a whole load ready to go so..."

"I need my underwear. It feels really weird not wearing anything underneath."

As if on cue, his eyes shot up and down her body. Matt's cheeks burned a dull pink, and he closed his eyes, before rubbing his forehead. "I wasn't thinking about that, and I'm sorry. It's a little late to get them out now and I thought you'd prefer clean clothes when you go home tomorrow. We can go to the store if you want?"

Going to a store just to buy panties and a bra didn't seem very reasonable. Rani also knew Matt was dead tired and barely had enough energy to eat the dinner he'd put together.