Anger, betrayal, sadness, I had a hard time figuring out what emotion do I have to feel. I love my dad, so much. I wanted to trust him and I really do trust him. I found myself walking mindlessly. Hindi ko rin napansin na inuulanan na pala ako. Nagmadali akong sumilong sa isang tindahan.
Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko dahil tuumunog ito. A tear escaped from my eyes when I read the text. It was from my mom.
Mom: Won't be coming home tonight. I'll stay in the office muna, got a lot of paper works. Eat dinner with your dad. I love you!
I couldn't take it anymore. Nag-uunahan ang mga luha ko sa pagbagsak kaya mabilis akong sumulong sa ilalim ng ulan. In this way no one will see that I'm crying. The rain did hide my tears but my sobs were getting louder.
"Georgina what the fuck?!"
Hindi ko alam kung ilang segundo akong nakatingin kay Zav. I felt his coat on my shoulders. Mabilis niya ring kinuha ang kanyang panyo and dried my face.
"What are you doing in the midst of the rain? Kagagaling mo lang sa hospital. Do you want to get hospitalized again?" I stared at his mad face as he wiped my face.
"Hey..." his expression suddenly became soft. That's when I felt my tears. They are falling again.
I was comforted by his warm embrace causing me to sob louder. I felt him kiss the top of my head as he caress my back. We stayed like that for a minute or 2 until I couldn't cry anymore.
It was already dark when we arrived at home. He just parked and remained silent. Napansin ko na half open ang gate. Nakauwi na ata si dad. I was about to open the car's door, when I felt him held my hand. Nilingon ko siya.
"I'm always here, okay?" I nodded as a response and got out. As much as I want to tell him, I couldn't. He has too much in his plate now. Having a dramatic girlfriend isn't gonna help.
Pumasok ako agad. I expected the house to be quiet but I was greeted with laughter.
No...
I marched down the dining area to find Dad having dinner...with Angeline. Mabilis akong napansin ni Dad kaya napatingin din sa akin si Angeline.
"Anak, good thing you're here! Come join us." dad said, smiling. My eyes drifted to Angeline whose also smiling at me.
Masaya ka ba na sinisira mo ang pamilya namin?
I gathered my remaining strength to answer. "I already ate dad. I'm tired din kaya aakyat na ako." I faked a smile saka tumalikod. My vision started to get blurry again. Agad akong pumasok sa kwarto saka tahimik na pinakawalan ang mga luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan.
I didn't know how many hours I've been crying but I found myself staring at the ceiling. I felt a sudden pain in my stomach and I was shaking. I'm hungry I guess.
I quickly took a half bath saka bumaba. I made myself a sandwich and a glass of milk saka umakyat. I checked some emails and did the tasks that I missed. I stumble upon Zav's message.
Zav: Whatever you're going through right now, it will be fine soon.
Zav: Andito lang ako. If you need me, call me.
Zav: I don't care what day, or what time. Just...call me. I'll go to you.
Zav: Call me please.
Zav: I'll fetch you tomorrow.
Zav: Goodnight.
I smiled reading his texts. I decided not to reply kasi it's 1am na din. Baka tulog na din siya. I sat on my bean bag, nag-aantay na baka dalawin din ako ng antok.
--
We are driving to school. It's been 3 days. 3 days of me, trying my best to suppress my feelings. I badly wanted to cry but I ran out of tears. 3 days na hindi umuuwi si Mom. She's been using work as a reason para hindi siya umuwi and Dad bought those fucking useless reasons. He thought she was in a business trip.
Gusto kong magdabog. I wanted to be mad. Muntik na akong umiyak sa harapan ni Dad when he said Angeline will be staying in my condo kasi mashadong mahal yung inuupahan niyang apartment. I just said yes cause I'd rather let her live there kesa naman sa buhay.
Mabilis akong napatingin ako kay Zav when he suddenly stopped the car. Sumandal ito sa head rest saka humilamos sa mukha. He looked so frustrated.
"Bakit? Anong nangyari?" mabilis akong luminga sa harapan ng kotse dahil baka may nabangga siya. I looked at him again nang makita kong wala naman.
"I should be the one asking that george. What is happening to you?" Napaiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. I didn't know what to say.
"You've been skipping school, you would lose your Latin honors if you continue to do this." napapikit ako ng maalala ko yung nireply sa akin ni Mrs. Renalota.
"You've passed this already. Mr. . Kinuha mo ba ulit sa table ko? I'll consider that pero next time, ikaw na mismo magpasa."
"Stop doing things that I should be doing. Kasalanan ko."
"You can't tell me what to do..."
"Wag ka ng magmatigas sa akin please. You don't know what I'm going through. Huwag ka nang dumagdag pa." my voice was loud. I felt mad not at him, but to what is happening. Bakit kasi nadadamay pa siya?
"Then tell me." He sounded mad too. Nakatungo lang ako.
"Tell me what I can do for you...I feel like a useless boyfriend. You've been crying for days and I can't do anything about it." the frustration in his voice is really visible. I thought... I've been doing well in hiding it. I guess I was wrong.
I remained silent. Tanging tunog lang ng aircon ng sasakyan ang naririnig. Tumingin ako sa bintana when I felt his hand on mine.
"I'm...sorry. I just want to be there for you." He said as he pulled me gently and kissed the side of my head. Before he can pull away, I burried my face into his chest as I let my tears fall. I hugged him and he didn't pulled away.
We stayed like that for some seconds when I pulled away and tried talking.
"Sorry...things at home doesn't look good a-and.. I'm trying not to bring it with me whenever I'm with you but - " tears continuously fell. Before I can talk again, he pulled me into a hug.
"Shhh. I'm here." I felt his hand on my hair. Gently combing it with his fingers. Hinayaan niya akong umiyak and I didn't protest.
I needed this.
YOU ARE READING
Crossing the Lines
General FictionWith her perfect life, as how she describes it, Georgina Eve Serrano wishes for nothing but a happy ending. But she got herself into trouble which led one way to another. Will she be able to make it?
