Brothers Romanoff [MMF]

24

"I don't argue with people who've had my dick down their throats unless I'm married to 'em. Special privilege. So shut the fuck up and listen. Because I'm right and you're wrong because this is nature and that's how it goes."

His lawyer scoffed. "Do you have a law degree?"

"Do you have a death wish? Get me out in ten days. I already have to loop around and fuck an officer's wife don't make me add yours to the list," Lev grinned.

His lawyer paced.

"I already told Mikhail I was coming home in ten days. So get me out, or I'm breaking out," lev shrugged nonchalantly.

"Why did you agree to that without talking to me, you crazy bitch?" His lawyer slammed his palms down on the table.

Lev raised his brows in silent warning.

"As cruel as I am, I couldn't kick a begging puppy." Lev said simply.

Paul Howard esquire was just Lev with a law degree and a country accent. He had a filthy mouth, a filthy conscious, and he thought way too much of himself.

Paul had been the Romanoffs' lawyer since they were teenagers. One thing that had never changed was Lev's eyes. Unhinged.

"You look concerned," lev remarked.

Paul raised his hands. "Of course I am! Do you really think you can just go assaulting federal fucking agents, and just because you pay a retainer fee means I can pull a miracle out of my ass?!"

"Oh, I also need you to get Jean out," Lev added.

Paul's eye twitched, as he made a cross over himself, saying a silent prayer. "Surely you don't mean the one in prison for life with no parole."

"The very same," Lev smirked.

"It's not possible," Paul stated clearly.

"Do it anyway," Lev grinned back, imitating his cadence.

"The way you talk is so insensitive. Don't you have any respect for your elders?"

"Nyet." Lev shrugged. "So, old man? You gonna do it? Or do I have to bring joy to the disproportionately young Mrs. Howard? Your son is 22 now isn't he?" Lev grinned. "You know that is the age when they start exploring."

Paul blinked. "You're disgusting."

"Your wife and your son are the same age. You're the disgusting one."

"Haven't been able to get it up since '97 when I met you," Paul grumbled. "Fucking bastard."

Lev shrugged. "I'm only a bastard in every meaning of the word. So...7 days?"

"You said ten!"

Lev stood. "You pissed me off." he knocked on the glass. The guards came in and ushered him away.

Pual looked down at his hands. How the hell would he do it? He didn't know. But he had to. 

And in 7 days, Lev walked out a free man, his hair in the wind, his suit undone and somewhat wrinkled, and a singular unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. Mikhail greeted him at the doors.

Lev's face lit up with a large smile at the sight of Mikhail. 

"Fuck, take a look at this bastard," Mikhail grinned back, wrapping his arms around him. Lev hugged him back, squeezing him, and ruffling his hair.

"Take a look at yourself," He grinned, "What's with this shaggy cut, hm?"

Mikhail brushed the nape of his neck, under his hair. "I like it."

Lev kissed Mikhaikl's cheek gently. "Missed you," He murmured. slinging his arm around his shoulder.

Mikhail blushed. "So sentimental. Is this a changed man I see?" Mikhail grabbed the cigarette from his mouth, but Lev didn't protest.

"Come on now, I don't treat you so bad," Lev chuckled. "

Mikhail just snorted, leaning his head on Lev's shoulder. 

"Everyone says I'm the worst person they've ever met, but you still claim I have a shred of decency. Why's that?" Lev asked, as they walked toward the car.

"Because I've known you the longest. Besides, it's only a thread," Mikhail winked.

"Cheeky bastard," Lev chuckled. "Where we headed?"

They go into the waiting town car. in the cover of the darkness, Mikhail handed him a gun.

"Where's the munchkin?" Lev asked finally, looking around. 

Mikhail glanced down. "We decided...she decided she'd like to move on."

Lev blinked and then grinned. "Oh...well too fucking bad."

Mikhail shook his head. "It's her choice, Lev--"

"I like her," Lev smiled gently. "I'll bring her back. My present for being gone, okay?"

Mikhail said nothing for a moment. "Don't hurt her?"

"Course not." He checked the cartilage. "Hey since when do I react in violence,"

"Um...since you were born? You came out with two teeth and you bit your mother's breast every time she tried to feed you," Mikhail recalled.

Lev frowned for a moment. "Okay yeah but...after that?"

"Every day of your life?"

Lev grinned, his face lighting with recognition. "Oh yeah."

"You also fuck people's spouses just for the fun of breaking up happy homes, which...is I think emotional violence."

"Oh yeah, I do do that."

"And you psychologically profile people in order to say the most hurtful thing to them personally as possible," Mikhail said haltingly.

Lev nodded. "That's true. But I'm fairly nice to you though."

Mikhail grinned. "Yeah. You're nicest to me."

Lev pulled him tighter. "Mikhail?"

"Yeah?"

"I never want to leave you again," He whispered.

Mikhail's eyes widened. It wasn't even the frequent empty promise he made to shut Mikhail up. I'll never leave again. 

This time...he said he never wanted to. He didn't even want to.

"We Romanoffs have to stick together," Mikhail muttered.

"Damn right. So let's go get our little runaway, loop back, take back our dock, and fuck till the weekend," Lev proclaimed. 

Mikhail could do nothing but smile.