A Player's Responsibility

Josh's view Chapter 1 Page 4

I left the house with my mates about an hour ago and we stated hanging about and chilling. We didn't feel like going to a club or party to night. So we sat there high, smoking cannabis, drinking and injecting cocaine into our blood streams. Derek father is rich and he’s a drug dealer this was the first time he nick cocaine from his father house. I personally preferred ecstasy but there was so I sat there just smoking my cigarette and drinking my Guinness which was being exchanged with Chloe. The ten of us (me, four of my mates and the girls) we are going to be totally out of it. It was 1am in the mourning Saturday morning. Two hours later I managed to drag myself back home. My mom was sitting on the chair waiting for me and when she opened the door and saw me relieved flooded her face. “Oh my god I’ve been so worried, why do you do this to me Joshua? What’s wrong with you, you’ve been out smoking; drinking and doing drugs again haven’t you”. Or I think that’s what she said, come to think about it she might have said something totally different.  I wanted to say something but I was too out of it, my head was banging and my speech was slurred and I was barely standing on my two feet. Before you know it my eyes shut and I think I collapse onto the floor, and I don’t know what happened next.

I woke lying on my bed with a massive headache on my head. I had no idea what had really gone on last night. All of a sudden I was worried, had I hurt my mom? Did I upset her too much? A million things were running thought my head at once. My mom’s cancer is back and since my dad left us when she first had cancer, I had been her only source of strength and I would hate to think that I had hurt her in anyway. I tried to get up but my legs felt numb (honestly, I don’t know why people drink, smoke and all of that when you feel crappy the next day. But I guess it help you forget stuff for a while, like how you mom has cancer again and she is more likely not beat it this time). Mom knocked on my door “come in” I managed to let out. She came in hold a glass of milk, a bottle of water and a tablet.  “You were so out of it last night you didn’t even know when I brought you in” she said. I felt guilty I didn’t want to add more stress to my mom by letting her worry about me. “I’m sorry I was just hanging out with friends I didn’t mean to scare you like that”. She looked at me then gave me a warm smile “you’re such a good boy, smart, handsome, intelligent with a bright future ahead of you. But I worry about you”. I held her hand and kissed it. It felt so fragile and weak, but yet firm and strong, I never wanted to let go. “I’m a big boy mom” I told my mom even though I’m aware it sounded cliché “I can take care of myself”.

When I finally got up at 2pm that Saturday, I had a hot shower, got changed and ran a comb through my hair and then I headed down to the appetising smell in the kitchen. “What’s cooking mom?” she turned and looked at me then she gave me a smile “spaghetti bolognaise, your favourite”. My mouth became watery in anticipation. “Great I’m starving, I’m going to head out in a while, and I’ll be back before it’s ready”. I walk down towards the corner shop to get a milkshake and I entered and started scanning for it. When I was suddenly aware that the shop keeper was watching me, I was tempted to steal from his shop just to spite him but decided against it, since I have the money. When I saw saint Williams walk into the shop. When she saw me, she walked up to me “hi” she said. Suddenly I felt an urged to leave the shop and go home as quickly as possible “hi, I was just going home” and I as off the shop heading home. I was sitting with my mom eating dinner and suddenly she said “your coming with me to church this Sunday” I had to give  a laugh I hadn’t gone to church for about 2 months now, how come she’s asking me to go tomorrow. “Mom I’ll go tomorrow with you I promise”. She then looked so shocked she nearly choked. “you agreed to go without me even having to plead with you” I gave a smile “mom I’ll do anything for you” she looked me in the eye then grinned.

 On Sunday I was sitting in the church, the pastor was going on and on about forgiveness and stuff. I just sat there and then I saw her .she was wearing a pink skirt and blue top and was sitting in the front  row, her hair tied back with a pink ribbon and she was also wearing her glasses singing at the top of her lungs.