"I-I might just get a salad to be honest." I say, my voice cracked, causing me to clear it midway. Embarrassing. He chuckles once more before returning to the menu to examine it.
"That's it?" He asks me, as if I'm supposed to order the whole damn menu, as if he'd expected me to order something grand and dramatic. Not today. I look up at him with a frown.
"Yeah?" I push, quickly examining—checking him out before he glances up at me, holding eye contact smoothly. I quickly glance back down, my heart pumping faster than before.
Suddenly, a waiter stops in front of us, smiling with pearly white teeth—those straight teeth were definitely paid for. I glance up and smile back, waiting for her to give the signal before I start announcing what I want off the strange, unread menu.
Though I know I'll see something I want later because I didn't actually read through it—Dream will gladly order it to go for me. That's how he is, he's sweet, despite his excelling height, he's not intimidating at all. Sure, he'll look it, but he's such a puppy at heart it's cute. Not saying he can be scary, when he's angry, we're all fucked.
After she walks away with our orders everything is silent. I have nothing to cover my flustered face, no more menu to hold up and fake read as I secretly check my best friend out from across the table, like some weirdo. He's leaned over scrolling through his phone, too busy to pay attention to my nervousness to even care.
"S-so.." I spit, my shaky hand reaching for my lemonade. I wanted to curse myself out, tell myself to stop being shaky and stuttering, it's embarrassing. He looks up with a smile and quickly turns his phone off, as if he waited for me to speak up. We sit in more silence, awkwardly. I feel pressured that I need to say something as I started this "conversation".
"So?" He says, the grin on his lips making me slightly gasp. The cat beanie covering his overgrown hair, the colors I couldn't see correctly but knew it looked good compared to the slightly big tan (I think) cargo pants with a long sleeve sweatshirt.
"I don't know." I chuckle, my leg beginning to bounce uncontrollably. I'm nervous, I shouldn't be, we've done this thousands of times, it just feels more weird to me the more we do it.
"Did you want to talk about something? Say anything? Or are you just wanting my attention?" He jokingly laughs. Your attention. I want to say, but I hold back with every living fiber of me, every atom inside me begs to speak out the truth, but I resist with all of me. Instead, my body responds with a shrug of my delicately covered shoulders.
He tilts his head before leaning back against the booth seat. My god. Does he look attractive. It takes all of me not to pounce at him, knowing I'd probably scare him away stops me. The thought of losing my closest relationship to a person scares me. It's why I'm always so nervous around him, I'm scared my body will react wrongly and startled him and change everything.
"What did you want to do after this?" He asks, taking me out of my terrifying thoughts. I hum as I look him in the eyes, suddenly the world around was quiet, nothing spinning.
"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks again, I blink and quickly nod, playing with the straw in my drink. My heart beats even faster, he knows something is up—kind of easy when you know someone so well and you live with them for nearly a year, you know everything.
"You aren't very talkative, and you're zoning out so much." He adds, sliding his foot over mine, i gasp quietly to myself, hoping he didn't hear me. My body shivers and I immediately grab my arms and hunch over.
"Yeah, s-sorry, I'm just, I don't know." I can't form an explanation without telling him the truth, and the truth is not what I want to come out—not now at least. He could leave me here, alone.
Fallin in love
Start from the beginning
