It never goes right.

Chapter 17.

An hour or two later and I was awake. This time I didn't go to hospital, they came to me.

The doctor examined me and said I was okay just very fragile. He told my mum to keep checking my breathing with this little Doppler machine thing and keep a close eye on me.

Kyle stayed over that night. He made a bed up on my floor but I don't think he actually slept. He just kept stroking my hair and telling me how brave I was.

He had been my best friend since I was a baby and I loved him like a brother, the same with Tom. They both meant a lot to me.

The next morning I woke up and felt very tired. "How are you?" Kyle asked helping me out of bed.

"Like I've been smashed in the head with bricks a thousand times" I tried to laugh but my chest area felt very bruised and tender.

I went downstairs and mum made me a bacon sandwich. "Just what the doctor ordered" I giggled.

I still felt like a mess inside but I was trying to control and be strong for my family.

I didn't want to be here anymore and was in a very bad way, my mum tried her best to support me but I never told her everything I was feeling. I kept a lot of things hidden to myself.

Over the next year I started to try and make myself feel better, I applied for jobs and started going out more. I managed to land myself a job at our local theme park in Cleethorpes which was half an hour away from Grimsby.

It wasn't the best paid job but I convince myself it would be the only way to sort myself out.

After my first week, I hadn't actually spoke to anyone. I felt like people used to stare at me and say things about me.

A couples of the younger girls noticed the scars on my wrist and stared whispering to each other laughing every so often.

There was a man called Ed who was the first to start talking to me. He asked me a few questions and we were speaking a lot on breaks together and on the bus home. He seemed very friendly and interested in what I had to say.

After a week or two he invited me out with a couple more people from work. I hesitantly said as I wasn't a big drinker nor did I have the confidence to go out clubbing. But nevertheless I said yes and got home, showered, made myself all dolled up and got changed into a black pencil skirt and white blouse with my suede Chelsea boots.

I met everyone there and Ed came over and hugged me. "Looking smashing tonight darling" he winked.

"Oh thanks" I laughed awkwardly.

Ed bought me a drink and was trying to get me to dance with him. "Why not just go for it" I said to myself and let my hair down. I had a few more drinks and started to feel funny.

I went out for some fresh air and almost fell to the floor.

"Someone can't handle her drink. Lightweight!" A couple of lads shouted at me across the road. Ed came out and picked me up "you alright darling?" He said with a smirk on his face.

"Yeah j-j-just feel w-w-weird" I stuttered and suddenly felt myself falling into his arms, he lifted me up and took me behind the club to this dirty little alley way. He propped me up against the wall and pressed his body against mine breathing heavily on my neck.