silent

42

No I'm not.

I hate that I'm not, because I wanted to be. So, so badly. I wanted this to be a place I could walk around freely, a place for a fresh start. But now every time I walk into my room, look at my bed, I'm reminded of what happened. Memories of my head being stuffed into a pillow as unspeakable pain retched my body flood into my head like a dam has just been opened each time I even look at my bedroom door. I don't want to go in there again. I can't go in there again. And if people like him come into my house, who's to say it won't happen again?

"I'm so sorry it happened, sweetheart." He whispers, the sadness in his voice thick. "I'm sorry I wasn't more careful on who came into the house."

I stare blankly at him for a few beats, then shrug. He furrows his eyebrows. "Amalia." He begins. "You can tell me anything, you know that, don't you?"

I nod.

"Okay." He says. His eyes soften. "Can I have a hug?" He asks.

I nod again and tentatively walk over to him. I see him smile sadly before he wraps his arms around me and pulls me onto his lap. He kisses my forehead, my cheek, my nose, my temple over and over again. "I love you so much." He says after a couple seconds.

I hold onto his waist tightly. He kisses my cheek again. "I know you wanna dance, baby, but you need to take it easy, okay?"

I nod.

"I'll make you some snacks to take with you." He tells me. "You go get changed for when one of your brothers take you."

I nod again and climb off his lap. I leave his study without another word.

•

Mason holds onto my hand as we walk into the dance studio. Kiera—at the front desk like always—looks up, pausing when she sees Masons scarred face. I fight the urge to make my eyes narrow into a glare. What's she looking at?

She slides her gaze to me and smiles. I send her a small, uncertain one back.

"Elijah told me you're gonna stay with Amalia." Kiera says, looking at Mason again. "There's a spot outside one of the rooms. You guys are early, so you can both sit there until everyone else arrives if you'd like."

I nod, then tug on Masons hand. He looks down at me, then nods to the hall. I begin walking towards the lounge she's talking about, then sit down on one of the sofa chairs. Mason sits beside me.

"Why don't you eat some of your food now? Energise yourself." He tells me.

I shake my head. He arches an eyebrow, and after a second I sigh and grab the box my dad puts my food in. He sets his hand on my shoulder—a comforting touch—and begins to rub the pad of his thumb in circles when I eat a quarter of a sandwich.

"Good girl." He says idly as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, keeping his other hand on my shoulder.

     After about ten minutes, I recognise people as they walk into the dance studio, sending me smiles. Holly and Edie are making their way inside when the latter calls out: "Amalia? Are you coming?"