To you, my lover boy.
To you, now I am writing while going back in my younger self, brushing away the traces of age life has given me and turning into the same lily which you once held in your captive under the torrential rain.
+ A Short Story +
Com...
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AND like a star, like a comet, like a sign of destroying my world completely- you rose up in the sky and were visible to my eyes at last. I saw the you- who had been controlling my thoughts, dreams and hopes from a mile away, inside your secret hideout in my heart.
I find myself writing about you in the most unexpected times; just like now, at my last stage of life. I have used so many papers with only your memories drawn in ink. Those were with me in the summer you left; in the winter after one year of your departure; in the spring when my first child was born; in the rainy season when I watched my daughter getting married to her lover.
Shihu, I want to thank you for everything.
I am so grateful to you for being the first person I ever fell in love with. For you, after I die, there will be some of me still left in this world through the words I had written on these bunch of papers. I wished to use more fine sheets, but I could not. I am afraid that I- no, we- could had lasted a little longer as memories.
Let's start recalling about you as my last wish, okay?
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"To you, Shihu."
A short story written by Tani.
:: contains;
angst, tragedy, and the most difficult part in our teenage lives- how to love for letting go.
Adulthood comes after a lot of inner struggles. When we finally let go of emotion, we can welcome conscience. But the intense war we had to win for it- is it always worth of what we have gained? Sometimes, a human only wills to stay ignorant to whatever the society is telling them to do. They want to keep holding onto emotion. They die to live for love. Whether it's platonic, motherly, friendly or romantic- can I be a human without being able to love at all?
This was the easiest question to exist and to find a deeper meaning, I planned to write this story.
:: dedication;
To him, who is here, in my real world and breathing as the days are passing for us to drift apart even more.
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About me:
Hey! After days of planning, I decided to write this. This book is special to me for a reason. I definitely have not written a story I would want to read after 70 years when I am very very old, have I?
I am writing this as a real life fiction(?), I mean... if there is a genre like this? Surely there is, but I can't quite remember the name. I will be addressing Shihu as 'You', so don't be confused. If you keep reading, sometimes the paragraphs will feel out of context, weird and confusing- because I did not chain myself when I was writing. Everything was raw and just... poured down on paper ( read google notes ).
I hope you like what I created in a very fresh and broken mind.
BTW GO READ OPERATION : TRUE LOVE ON WEBTOON, IT'S JUST THAT GOOD.
25.01.2023.
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