𝐬𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐲 | 𝐦. 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐨𝐧

prologue.

anguish wasn’t even a strong enough word to describe how michael had been feeling as of late. no amount of words could accurately describe how life had been treating him since after the incident. he was in the pits of fucking hell; he couldn't ever catch a break. he spent his evenings clutching a pillow to his chest, keeping himself from hysterically sobbing and puking his guts out. he hated himself and just let everyone push him around. he deserved it; all of it. the distance put between him and his sister. the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. the endless yelling from his father. calling him worthless. a murderer. as if he was one to talk anyways.

he dragged himself through every day. it was a torturous cycle. school life wasn't much better than at home. it was endless pestering day in and day out. word had spread like wildfire. no one quite understood the situation. they didn't know it was an accident. they didn't know that michael spent every single day replaying the sound of evan's cries falling quiet after his skull was crushed. it haunted him and constantly echoed in his mind. he thought about it until he couldn't even look at himself in the mirror without seeing a murderer. seeing his face covered in his brother’s blood. he was a terrible human being. he was already beating himself up enough. it was supposed to be a joke and he could not stress that enough. but he was still in the wrong. it's not like he wasn’t used to being teased anyway. everyone gets bullied in high school, but it only got worse after the incident. all they knew was that michael was a murderer. that's what they all heard and that’s what everyone chose to believe.

he had tried everything to get out of school. he skipped, he slept in class, he feigned sickness. he had even begged his father to withdraw him from school but he refused. william hated that idea. when he asked, he grabbed michael by the front of his shirt and pulled him close. the smell of whiskey was strong on his breath. he picked up a habit of drinking after evan had passed. the smell was enough to make michael gag. he had grown more and more terrified of his father with all the changes that had been happening. the way he threw things around in anger to the way he glared at michael just for breathing the wrong way. they both had drastically different ways of grieving and coping with the pain. the once happy home they lived in became a hell hole. 

"this is your punishment, michael," he said, in a dehumanizing tone. venom laced every word that left his filthy lips. he was just as crushed as michael and he knew it was an accident, but that didn't stop him from making his son suffer. accidents happen but this was too much. both he and michael knew he went way too far. "you made this bed now fucking lie in it." 

and that was it. no further argument after that. he didn't have a choice. he knew continuing to skip class would get his ass beat. if he got caught he would never see the light of day again. so, he continued to force himself through school every day. dragging his feet along the floor of the halls and keeping his head down. he hardly made eye contact with anyone to avoid being pushed to the ground or into the cold metal of the lockers, a feeling he was getting all too familiar with. he was used to it now. there was nothing anyone could say or do that hasn't already been said or done to him. it couldn't faze him anymore.

just as his father said, he made this bed, and now he must lie in it.

__________

[a/n]

i'm so excited for this story! i've been working on it for like a month straight and i finally have enough to start posting the chapters. most of the following chapters won't be as short as this one, i promise. i hope you all enjoy!!
votes are greatly appreciated <3!